Post LEAD2014 Conference Reflection - To Be In Order To Do

I shared (as the stage chairperson) at the closing of the conference that reflection is paramount and needful for our own spiritual growth and if we do not take time to reflect after the conference, it is merely a good conference but no life change. I believe and have often gotten the congregation to recite at the beginning of my sermons this; "This is my Bible. It is the Word of God. It informs my mind, inspires my heart and instructs my behavior. So help me God!"

Stella and I had just come back from a quiet retreat the weekend earlier just to pray and seek the Lord as to our own transition in one and a half year's time. We wanted to ask the Lord what is one word that would describe how we would want to see the Church to be. To come up with one word (amongst the hours of conversations and prayers) after a weekend retreat may not be something to shout about but it was very important for us at least because it will shape our thoughts and decisions as we move forward.

The word that the Lord gave us was "Christlikeness" and one of characteristics (among many others) was that we will learn to be kind to one another in the House of God. I was much influenced by my Quiet Time a few days before that about the qualities of a Christian leader. 2 Timothy 2:24 (NIV) And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.

Christlikeness will lead us to be kind to each other, and hence to love each other, which will be a very attractive option to those outside: John 13:35 By this all men will know that you are my disciplies, if you love one another. 

At the first session when Pr Peter Tan-chi spoke about the goal of discipleship, he unequivocally states that it is Christlikeness. This may not be thunder and lightning to most, but for me to have that word just 4 days ago was a God defining moment for me. (I had goose bumps!) The conference ended with the idea of fruitfulness. Hence the importance of the right sequence: To be in order to do, and not to do in order to be. Simply put, we need to disciple Christians to be Christlike and they will naturally in response to the Christ who is in them do Christlike things.I believe this is about learning to live in the grace and sabbatical rest of the Lord. The Jewish day starts at 6 pm, meaning we sleep first before we work in the day. God is already at work when I am sleeping and when I wake up, I merely reap what God had already done. This is true restedness in God! Not that there is no hard work and discipline, but it simply means I learn not to strive in what I do because it is God's work!

Cohesive Family through Truth & Faithfulness

Scriptural Text: Ephesians 5:15 - 6:4

Preached at DUMC 15/16 March 2014 by Pr Chris Kam

The state of marriage today in Malaysia

The national rate of divorce in 2012 was 26%

The propostion of Muslim divorces is about double that of non-Muslims

1. Biblical Theology of Marriage and the Family

The permanency of marriage.

Mark 10:6-9 “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ 7 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 8 and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” 

2. Biblical Template for the family

Biblical pattern for marriage:

• Ephesians 5:21-33 

a. Wives, submit to your husband as to the Lord (v22-24)

23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 

b. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her (v25-28) 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

• Ephesians 6:1-4

c. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” (v1-3) 

 Luke 2:51-52 51 Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart. 52 And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.

d. Fathers, do not exasperate our children, instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. (v4) 

The Roles and Responsibilities in a Household according to Scripture

ROLES	RESPONSIBILITIES	TEXTS
Fathers	Love your wife*	Eph. 5:25
	Provide for family, children	2 Cor. 12:14
	Ensure proper nurture and discipline	Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21; Heb. 12:6
Mothers	Submit to your husband*	Eph. 5:22
	Raising of children, motherhood	1 Tim 2:15
	Managing the home	1 Tim. 5:14
Children	Obedience to parents	Eph. 6:1-3; Col. 3:20
	Care for parents in old age	1 Tim. 5:8

Reference: 

God, Marriage, and Family: Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation

By: Andreas J. Kostenberger,David W. Jones

* Added by author of blog

Click here for detail of book.

Verses:

Ephesians 5:25	Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
2 Corinthians 12:14	Now I am ready to visit you for the third time, and I will not be a burden to you, because what I want is not your possessions but you. After all, children should not have to save up for their parents, but parents for their children.
Ephesians 6:4	Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Colossians 3:21	Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
Hebrews 12:6	because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.”
Ephesians 5:22	Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.
1 Timothy 2:15	But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.
1 Timothy 5:14	So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander.
Ephesians 6:1–3	1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
Colossians 3:20	Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
1 Timothy 5:8	If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

The foundation of a cohesive family must be built therefore through: 

TRUTH – Biblical truth rooted in scripture about our roles in marriage

FAITHFULNESS – Faithfulness rooted in scripture about the permanency of marriage and family.

3. Biblical Transformation through the Family

How do we build a cohesive family? I want to suggest an IDEA.

Eph 6:4 Bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord

• Instructions 

• Discipline 

• Encouragement 

• Affection 

Luke 3:22 and the Holy Spirit descended on him in bodily form like a dove. And a voice came from heaven: “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.” 

3 things our children need to hear from us. 

I love you (Affection), 

I am proud of you (Acceptance) 

You are good in what you do (Affirmation). 

Appreciation to all our super mothers! Here is one who can do 10 things at one time:

Emily Lee - mother to Maya and wife to Paul Sebastian

To the singles looking for a life partner:

If you want to get married, you must make sure your marriage will give you a greater love for the Lord, the things of the Lord, a greater prospect of ministry. If not stay single. ~ Josh McDowell

APPRECIATE YOUR FAMILY WEEK!

Don't take your family for granted. Appreciate them in a creative way this week.