What does God say about SUCCESS?

Success is a great goal. There are many promises of God that reminds us that our Heavenly Father loves to see His children do well.

The promise to Joshua as he takes on the new role of a leader to lead God's people into the Promised Land is an often quoted passage:

(Joshua 1:7-8) 7 Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. 8 Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.

But interestingly, when I do a search in all 33 different Bibles available in my computer software, the word "success" appears only in the Old Testament and none in the New Testament. In the NIV(1984), it appeared 36 times in the OT, and like I say, none in the NT.

Instead the NT (NIV1984) has a lot to say about these few words:

Fruit (or fruitful) - 54 times

Faith (or faithfulness, faithful) - 302 times

Humble (or other variations) - 28 times

Win - 12 times (11x in the context of evangelism - winning people, and 1x "win" about the prize in the context of heaven.)

God seems to ignore the word "success" and redefine it in the context of our life in fruitfulness, faithfulness and humility. In our success crazy world, successes are defined within our self-centred intention of personal goals for our benefits and recognition. In some sense we are reminded that we came with nothing and we will go off with nothing. 1 Tim 6:7 "For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it." The only prize we will carry with us from our earthly life are the souls of people we have influenced and everything we do "successfully" is always for the sake of the Gospel and the prize of heaven, and never just for ourselves. That's why we are stewards of the things we have and we never really own them.

1 Cor 10:31 So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 

Col 3:17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. 

Col 3:23-24 23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

Therefore we need to put "successes" within the context of the Lordship of Christ in our lives. Martyn Llyod-Jones put it aptly on his comments about Apostle Paul's "thorn in his flesh."

“It is very DIFFICULT to be HUMBLE if you are always SUCCESSFUL, so GOD CHASTISES us with FAILURE (so to speak) at times in order to HUMBLE us, to keep us in a STATE of HUMILITY.” 

In that sense, God said very little about "success!" He is more concern about other things, especially our inner life, character and service to others.

2 Cor 12:7-10

7 To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 

Why God Gives Us Families

Families form the basic building blocks of any society. For that matter, the Christian families are basic building blocks of the Church. Sociological research had affirmed the direct correlation on the positive impact made by healthy families to society and to the nation. In an interesting interview, Lee Kuan Yew, a former prime minister of Singapore, argued that after thousands of years of dynastic upheaval, the family is the only institution left to sustain Chinese culture. It embodies a set of virtues—“learning and scholarship and hard work and thrift and deferment of present enjoyment for future gain”—which, he said, underpins Asia's economic success. He feared that the collapse of the family, if it ever happened, would be the main threat to Singapore's success. (The Economist Aug 2011)

This is where the tacit influence of the Church can often come through building godly families and extending the love of Christ to our communities and nation. The importance of this cannot be underrated because these blocks set the forth the ultimate health conditions of our society and nation. Much of the problems of societies today can be traced directly to this basic building block.

So why did God create the institution of marriage and family? One thing we know for certain is that God loves people and His command was to be fruitful and multiply (Genesis 1:28). We are then to take charge and be responsible over the earth. This requires us to exercise creative stewardship of God’s creation, caring for and building up what God has created. This also means we need responsible people from one generation to another who understand this mandate.

So each family within a clan, a tribe and a race, under the rule of God, should be reproducing godly offspring, fulfilling this mandate for generations to come. Who then are the primary educators of the family? Interestingly as we go back in history, the families, vis-à-vis the parents, or more precisely the fathers, have always played that role, and not any governmental or non-governmental institution. Deuteronomy 6:4-9 sets forth a template how that can be done in a family.

Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. (Dt 6:4–9)

Before the industrial revolution of the 18th century, fathers passed on their trade skills to their adolescent sons, guiding them through apprenticeship into manhood. Whatever that needs to be taught and modelled happened primarily in the home. The industrial revolution created a need for classrooms and schools due to the demands for manpower in the industry for both parents. Kids left at home were also eventually picked up by Christians concerned about their spiritual well-being thus creating the first Sunday School. Over time, the primary role of educating was relegated to governments and churches.

In a nutshell, the role of families is to produce godly offspring. It is a self-replicating system with God and His Word as the absolute standard. The family provides a consistent and safe environment for nurture, discipline, training and instruction of the Lord to take place (Ephesians 6:4). The family trains us to be loving and caring unconditionally. “Blood is thicker than water” is an apt saying in a sense that family should be the last bastion for refuge in a world gone wrong. Even in the worst of situations, home will always be home. Discipleship takes place first at home before anything else. No wonder Apostle Paul said in 1 Timothy 3:5 “If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?” The proof of the pudding is in the home, of a man’s leadership capacity for the church. This is an interesting insight to suggest that the family is the starting point. 

Ravi Zachariah, a noted apologist said “Marriage and family is a base for ministry to one another, not self-indulgence, but a greater platform for good. If marriage doesn’t make you a better person, don’t get married.” It is within the family that we learn not to be self-centered. All our life before marriage was about me, myself and I. I have often said in jest that if you think you are a kind, wonderful and patient person, try getting married and it will prove you wrong. If you still think you are after marriage, try being a parent. It’s a humbling experience. That I conclude is why God gives us children, to teach us to be more Christlike.

We learn love and forgiveness in the midst of our individual flaws among family members. As spouses and parents, we train ourselves at home to be responsible for others and not just be self-serving or narcissistic. As children, we learn to obey and honour our parents, rightly projecting the idea of honour to those in authority when we grow up.

Fathers play a crucial role in the life of their sons as they are the representation of God in their relationship with Him. They build their confidence, prepare them spiritually and socially for the real world and give them insights into the world of men. Sons learn about what it means to be a responsible man, husband and father. Adolescent daughters also need their fathers’ affirmation that they are beautiful and loved. Their choice of future partners and satisfaction in marriage often hinges on their relationship with their fathers.

These are modelled day in and out. When one is trained and instructed well in the home, it is not difficult to guess the kind of people walking into the community who are positive influencers. As Christians, they bring the love of Christ into the broken world. The starting point is the home which provides a daily training ground for about two decades.

Some Reflections on Current Water Rationing: How's Your Reserve Tank?

It is strange while in the bathroom just now during the two days when water the water came back on, a few thoughts came to mind how this rationing exercise had shaped some of my habits with regards to water. For those not in the know, the western coast of peninsular Malaysia is facing a dry spell, and the water dam level is at a critical stage. The predicted prolonged dry spell may continue and the authorities decided that water rationing would be the prudent thing to do. Hence what was started as a month long exercise in March, with an alternate two days on and two days off cycle, is now extended for another month. If the situation does not improve, this may continue beyond April.

The Sungei Selangor Dam in a photograph taken on 31 March 2014. The low water level at the dam has been caused by a dry spell that has hit the country.

What is interesting in my behaviour modifications is that I find myself saving water even when the water is full on. The hidden water reserve tank above the house, unnoticed and unimportant during times of plenty, suddenly becomes an all consuming concern with the question: "How long will it last?" The ubiquitous pail is in every bathroom during the dry spell and I am ever careful how that pail of water is being used. Instead of a full flush of the cistern, I now use the water from the pail, with an incessant desire to use water to the minimal. While lathering the shampoo into my hair, I turn off the water and no longer allows the shower to run without any definite purpose. I have even learnt how to bath with a pail of water by doing everything at one go! You know the drift here.

Behaviour modification comes when there is a lack of resources, like money or time. Here are my spiritual reflections:

1. Be careful and purposeful in how we use the resources we have. It is a gift from God. When there is plenty, we handle them carelessly and without thoughts at times. We are called to be conscious of our environment as the stewards of God-given resources in our land. The right ethical and biblical response through this is that we are to be conservationist and environmentalist at heart and practice in that sense.

2. There is a definite capacity to our human resources we have in terms of time, energy and finance. No one has more than 24 hours. Therefore planning is important. Why is it that some people can do so much more than others? No one can go beyond the number of calories his body can sustain. Therefore rest and recreation is important. Even for a wealthy man, his financial resources is limited. He can be a bankrupt in a blink of an eye when he is not careful. Therefore prudence and wise investment is a necessity.

3. The importance of the reserve tank comes to the fore in the times of lack. One man found out that his reserve tank doesn't last more than a day and upon checking by climbing up to the roof for the very first time, he discovered two things. First, the float did not work well, thus reducing the capacity of the tank to less than half. Secondly, the tank is full of filthy sediments due to lack of proper cleaning and maintenance since they moved in. Some time back, I had climbed up to the roof to clean my water tank and discovered that my neighbour's tank was half covered as the lid had detached itself and full of green slimy mould at the side. I informed my neighbour of it. 

It is time to climb up again. We usually do not think of our spiritual, relational, emotional, intellectual and physical reserve tanks until we hit a crisis. It will be horrifying to discover that it is almost empty and there are not much reserves left. Reserves are built over time with care and planning. Like making regular time with God and people who are important in our lives. They are the ones who will be the most important in our times of need. Great emotional and mental health allows us to handle challenging situations and I had often said that the real man shows up in times of crisis. Whether he has what it takes will be demonstrated then. Right eating and exercises build up a healthy body to last the distance. 

I am reminded of what Jesus said about our hearts: Luke 6:45 “The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.” We need to store what is good into our hearts because out of that will be the fruits of our lives. Often we revel in the big things and forget that the daily routines are the vital building blocks that will be the foundation of things to come.

Spiritually, feeding on the Word of God and prayer is of paramount importance to spiritual health and the constant use of spiritual gifts builds up our inner man. (For e.g. Hebrews 5:14 But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.) 

As the cliché goes "When the going gets tough, the tough gets going." What if you are not tough when the going gets tough? How's your reserve tank?

My Reflection on MH370

It's almost two weeks since the disappearance of MH370 and our hearts and prayers go out to those suffering through the anxieties of not knowing exactly what happened and the fate of those missing. I wrote this article in DUMC's latest issue of Floodgates magazine as a reflection.

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Ending Well by Pr Chris Kam (Issue 79 of Floodgates magazine)

In my last year’s article entitled “The Future is Now”, this was what I wrote: “James 4:14 ‘What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.’ I was reminded that life is short and whatever we do, for most things, we have only one shot at doing it right and the consequences, good or bad will have a rippling effect for years to come, not only on us but affecting many others as well.”

The buzz around the world while writing this is the tragic disappearance of flight MH370. It has certainly been much on our minds and prayers. What saddens our hearts even more is that amongst the victims of this tragedy are people that we know. The feeling of helplessness can only drive us to our knees to intercede for those who are missing and for their family members whose greatest anxiety is that of not knowing what exactly happened and their whereabouts. Apart from coming alongside to provide comfort and help where we can, the next best thing we can do during this time is to reflect upon our own lives and how we should live it better as we ponder the elephant in the room, of our own earthly mortality and its brevity. It is not a question of “if” but “when” and this certainly reminds us to cherish our loved ones and be certain of why we are here. The greatest good we can do is not to leave behind a trail of brokenness but the glory and grace of God in our lives and others.

Just last weekend, a young man in his early twenties, came forward for prayer at the end of our church celebrations. He asked me whether there is something wrong with him because he kept thinking about death, but not in a suicidal way. While a morbid subject, I assured him that Apostle Paul himself thought about his death often. “I die every day.” (1 Cor 15:31a) What Paul meant was that he no longer lives only for himself but every day he becomes closer to God by doing God’s will and not his own. He is also referring to the daily possibility of martyrdom.

Hence it is a reminder that we are living on borrowed time and that life is a gift. It is not a question of how long but how well. I followed a plan set forth in my early thirties by asking this question. “What will my funeral be like?” For many, it was strange to think about death at such an early age. But it was not a joke. I was thinking about death seriously. Not that I was flippant about life and death, but rather by thinking about how my life will end, I can live my life intentionally from that point on so that I can end it the way I envisioned it.

Do not get me wrong. It is not about me. John the Baptist succinctly puts it: “He must become greater; I must become less.” (John 3:30 NIV) or in ESV “He must increase, but I must decrease.” It is about living responsibly and intentionally so that through our lives, His grace may be prominent. I thought about what people would think of me at my funeral? Would I be leaving a trail of broken lives? Or would I leave behind a legacy of transformed lives centred in Christ? Will I be history or will I be a history maker?

While working through my funeral program, I wrote down what I would like my wife and sons to say about me. Those eventually include my closest relatives, some friends, colleagues and even our domestic helper. Of course I am not suggesting that it is my desire to have them speak publicly these things about me. It would not matter anyway as I would already be in the Presence of the Lord! However, if these are what I wish their thoughts will be at the point of my departure, I need to live out that kind of live henceforth. I don’t know how else to be more intentional and purposeful than that.

It is a strange exercise 20 years ago but as I look back now, I thank God that He prompted me to do what I did. I did “die every day” and I echoed the heart of Apostle Paul which desires to be with the Lord but willing to stay for the sake of the Gospel (2 Corinthians 5:8). I finally understood why he wrote what he wrote in 2 Timothy 4:6-8, “⁶For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. ⁷I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. ⁸Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.”

Fifth Commandment Children

On the final days of 2013, my wife and I reflected over dinner how our year had been. We reflected on our marriage, family, ministries and personal lives.

The 5th century BC philosopher Socrates said that “The unexamined life is not worth living.”  Slowing down enough to reflect is a luxury for most and for that matter, we have lost the art self-reflection entirely. In fact for some, being quiet with oneself is unnerving, if not downright awkward. Maybe we are trying to avoid condemning ourselves for not doing enough. But if we don’t, by default we are perpetuating annually that holy discontent in each of us to live our life responsibly. Maybe others simply want to take time to just regain a certain measure of sanity in life by doing nothing at all.

The call for self-examination is also a common exhortation in the Bible. “What is your life? You are mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” (James 4:14) We are to do that regularly at Holy Communion: “A man ought to examine himself before he eats of the bread and drinks of the cup.” (1 Cor 11:28) We pray the words of the Psalmist “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.” (Ps 139:22). We are to heed the call of godly men: “Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord.” (Lamentation 3:40) “But if we judged ourselves, we would not come under judgment.” (1 Cor 11:31)

In our evaluation of our family, let me share a thought. We do recognise that we are often quite harsh with our children, sometimes to the point of not being objective in our assessment of them. We need to also praise them for what they have done well, not just being corrected for what they did not. In fact, I think we should do more of the former.

If we look at the Ten Commandments, also known as the Decalogue, the first four have to do with our vertical relationship with God. The next six are related to human relationships and interactions. Interestingly, the remaining six biblical principles of the Decalogue on our horizontal relationship with others, honoring our parents was mentioned first. 

“Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you." (Deut. 5:16)

It seems to suggest that training a child to honor his parents has a long term effect for good, not just for the parents (obviously) but also for the child. It pleases God as well. If we unpack this further, we can confidently conclude that should we want to see how well a person will do in life, watch how he honors his parents. This has major implications in the way we parent our children. Often we look at the tangible successes of wealth, status and power, but we forget that these are not the things that bring significance, fulfilment and contentment in a person’s life. If that is so, we should see more of that in famous, wealthy and powerful people. But the truth is that we read about their downsides every day on the news.

Personally I have counselled many parents over the years grieving helplessly over their wayward adult children. Parents in their golden years are meant to enjoy the well-deserved honor and respect bestowed upon them by their children, but sadly the opposite is true. Maybe in our quest to do the best we can for them in what we think they want, we forget to train them in what they need. If children are to be trained to honor and respect their parents from young, where clear boundaries of discipline and relationship are drawn, the effect is far-reaching beyond their family. When the fifth commandment is taught well, there would not be a problem with the rest of the five horizontal commandments. It would have a backwash effect on the earlier vertical commandments of honoring God in their lives too.

We see the wisdom of God here that the root and foundation of a well lived godly life often starts in the home where our children spend the first 20 years of their lives in. As my wife and I reflect on our three boys, we ask ourselves the same questions, now that they are slowly one by one leaving the nest into the world: “Will they do well in life? Are they fifth commandment children?” If they are, it gives us a glimpse of what their life will be like, including our children’s children. Candidly among them, they have already discussed what role they will play in taking care of us when we are in our golden years. Ian will make sure we go on our holidays. Shaun will pay for our utility bills and Ashton offers to have us live with him. Not that we will tie them to it but Stella and I smile amusingly at their bantering but we have a glimpse of their hearts for us. This we know pleases the Lord. 

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.  (Pr 22:6)

Guardians or Fathers?

I have been surveying young adults with this question: “Is there someone in your life, someone older and wiser spiritually, whom you can turn to for godly counsel and advice?” Only one out of ten say they have one. I would presume from that answer they cannot even go to their parents, especially their fathers, for such a need. It saddens my heart that young people are left on their own to figure out what to do in life, or via their peers or the google. While they may have information at their fingertips, yet what they lack is the wisdom learned through experiences, hard knocks and spiritual maturity. Why should they repeat the same mistakes that others further down the journey had committed? Or on a positive note, take the route of successes?

It is clear from Scriptures that God is concern that history doesn’t repeat itself. Romans 15:4 “For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.” 1 Corinthians 10:11 “These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us, on whom the fulfillment of the ages has come.” But our stubborn and sinful hearts are foolish enough often to ignore the wisdom that is already there, not just in the Bible, but also in older people who have “eaten more salt then we have eaten rice”. That is the beauty of generations and there should be no reason why any generation cannot do better than the previous one in terms of their moral influence and social impact.

There seems to be an invisible barrier. Sociologists have termed this as the generational gap and our Enemy relishes that fact. But it was never God’s design. We observe in Deuteronomy 6:4-9 that the family is central to God’s redemptive plan. He is the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, a clear affirmation of passing on of one’s birthright and heritage from one generation to the next. This is very much a relational model of the Jewish family, where the Shema is regularly recited. Certainly the spirit of this command is not merely a ritual that one goes through, but the deliberate connecting of hearts of the fathers to their children when they talked about the commandments of God in their daily living. In this fast pace society, we can understand the problems of tired fathers, who are present but not really present. One man shared honestly at a Men Alive! meeting: “We give our best at work and by the time we reach home, we are at our worst.” The fathers’ role is now limited to be a financial provider and disciplinarian of last resort. Mother-child relationship became central and fathers are peripheral. 

A child is more likely to see God as his Father if he sees God in his own father. Ken Canfield, author of “The 7 Secrets of Effective Fathers”, used this metaphor: “We are fathers like God is a father. We are walking object lessons to our children on who God is.” Malachi’s last words in the Old Testament were that the Elijah would come and “He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers.” (Malachi 4:6) When God unites the hearts of the fathers to their children, and vice versa, we are not merely talking about restoring the rightful authority the fathers have over their children, but the rightful relational ties with each other. Through that, generations thereafter will have a right understanding of who God is and right theology determines right behavior in fathering our children and showing them the way to have a personal relation with God.

My heart’s desire is to see intergenerational discipling starting first and foremost in the family. If discipling does not take place in the home, it will not take place in the church because the family unit is a microcosm of the wider Body. Fathers need to recognize that they are not merely legal guardians of their children. Every man can be a biological father, but not every man knows how to be a spiritual and godly one. Apostle Paul repeatedly extols the need to father the Body of Christ. 1 Cor 4:15-17 "Even though you have ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel. Therefore I urge you to imitate me." (The “guardian” in this context is a slave tutor in a Roman family that supervises the child.) Fathers need to be spiritual. 1 John 2:12-14 sets the path of spiritual development for everyone to grow from a child to a father. The fathers in our midst know the heart of God intimately and live out a life desiring the pleasure of God. He models the same to his children. I believe this fathering and discipling mandate is first given to biological fathers and then to other older men and women in partnership within the Church to disciple the younger ones. 

In our Christian Church, not only do we have the biological family, we are blessed with a wider body of a spiritual family. The Christian faith is not just an individual faith. There is every indication especially by Apostle Paul to remind us that we are part of the Body (1 Cor 12:12-31; 27-31; Rom 12:4-5). So we do affect one another for the better or for the worse! “Am I my brother’s keeper?” (Gen 4:9) was the first disastrous effect of the sin of murder. Sin kills the family bond. We who are older and more mature must take the responsibilities of discipling younger people and training them to be godly parents some day.

The command given in the New Testament to bring up our children “in the training and instruction of the Lord” is given to fathers, although it certainly is applicable to mothers as well. Fathers are singled out and the implication is that one day the Lord will single us out too when we are asked about our children. It is not good enough to provide for them by giving them the fish. Teach them to fish so that they are well equipped spiritually not just to be good people, but to exemplify a transformed Christ-centered life!

The Future is Now!

My wife and I celebrated our 25^th wedding anniversary this year and we indulged ourselves in a well-deserved three week holiday to Europe. In our own little fantasy world of the “Love Boat” era of the 70’s and 80’s, we decided to bring to realization that dream by signing up for a cruise in the Mediterranean. We spent a week in Italy on our own and joined a 12-day cruise from Venice to Istanbul and back. It was a thoroughly enjoyable holiday where we can withdraw from the routines of life.

In our staggered conversations throughout the trip in between celestial idle moments to exploring the ancient ruins of Italy, Greece and Turkey, and the beauty of the Greek islands, I thank my wife for standing by me for 25 years and we thank the Lord together that we could travel like this as best of friends. We enjoyed each other’s company more than ever as we enter into the early stage of our greying years and empty nest. We are beginning to understand and appreciate our promise to each other when we got married that we look forward to growing old together. Having been a pastor for twenty years, I have witnessed the heartaches of many broken or mediocre marriages. Marriage for some is like a prison cell, waiting for the day to get out. To others, and I am not sure which is worse, they live in mediocre co-existent, each living their own private life.

I often wonder what happened to the youthful ideals of love conquers all and why some couples even bothered to get married in the first place to get where they are today. For that, we are thankful to God that while we have our fair share of rough edges, the Lord has sustained and kept us together. There was a sense of déjà vu in this trip because I thought I saw a similar image before, of us in such a trip. I had a picture of what my marriage would be like, my family and my life. In fact, it is better than what I saw then. In some sense the future is now. I had a picture of what kind of husband I will be when I got married, the kind of father when I had my first child and the kind of influence I can be to people around me. It was then I started investing into the future. The future has now arrived. It is a sobering thought as I remember the life verse God gave me in my 20’s. James 4:14 “What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.”

I was reminded that life will be short and whatever we do, for most things, we have only one shot at doing it right and the consequences, good or bad will have a rippling effect for years to come, not only to us but for many others as well. I remember crafting out in my early years what the future will be like, and little by little over the years, I invested into that future. Financial advisers have been extolling the power or miracle (some would say) of compounding interest. It is learning to save with patience and discipline, a bit at a time over a life-time, that we are assured of a good retirement. Life is not that much different really. The daily discipline of spiritual growth, relationship building and wealth creation is a responsibility of every person and the disaster of the lack of it is evident in so many we see years later.

If you are in your first half right now in your life, “maybe next year” is your worst excuse. You have far more important things at stake than you think. This is the power of vision. Life is like a mist. Don’t live to regret it later. My future is now, and a little more to go! You will be saying this too, soon.

Coats in the shopping carts

I find the story below from Os Hillman quite interesting, especially the "aha" moment of realization.

A former client of mine was the marketing director of a large food brokerage company and told me a story about one of their client grocery stores located in the upper Midwest. It seems that the store could not understand why at a certain time every winter sales plummeted. They studied their product line and interviewed customers. They did everything possible to uncover the mystery. Finally, someone made a remarkable discovery that changed everything.

 

It seemed that whenever it was really cold outside, the manager raised the temperature in the store. When customers came into the store it was too warm for them, so they removed their coats and placed them in their shopping carts. This meant less room for food and resulted in reduced sales overall. They lowered the temperature of the store, and as a result, the sales climbed back to the levels they were accustomed to. Their adjustment resulted in restoring sales levels.

It seems to me that when things are comfortable around us, we tend to overlook the simple things that can become a snare in our spiritual life if we are not careful. In the desire to accumulate more, we are often not aware that these things begin to take the place of what's important in our spiritual life. Sometimes it can be the cares of the world, desire to hoard more than what we need, or simply crowding out of our lives the daily devotional time with Jesus that is necessary to help us centre on Him as the Author and Perfecter of our faith.

What are the adjustments that we need to do in our lives? What are the coats in our shopping cart that needs to be removed so that we can put into it what is of ultimate importance.

Ephesians 4:22-24

22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

What is Heaven Like?

In a very intense discussion we had in our Master of Ministry class on the course titled “Caring for the sick and dying”, I realized much of how we respond to crisis in our lives is dependent upon our perspective of life. I think it is only human to cling on to what’s here in this brief life on earth. When we minister to those terminally sick or aging, when do we decide to stop praying for healing and face the fact that it is probably better to go to be with the Lord? I am reminded of how Dr Martyn Lloyd-Jones prepared himself to die. This man of God was a Welsh Protestant minister, preacher and medical doctor who went to glory in 1981 at the ripe old age of 81. He had accomplished much in life, a chief influence in the British evangelical movement in the 20^th century and a minister of Westminster Chapel in London for almost 30 years.

It is his personal belief that no one should begin the inevitable journey of dying and then to die unprepared. He often preached about it and now to walk the talk. While battling cancer towards the end of his life, he knew it was time not to write more books, but to prepare to die.

His biographer, Iain Murray, visited Dr. Lyold-Jones to discuss an autobiography, a year before he died in March 1981. The old minister decided against it and Murray wrote: "It had to do with his final assessment of the right use of such time as remained to him. It came home to him with much conviction that time to prepare for death was very important; he needed such time and believed that its right use was now his chief work as a Christian. What was uppermost in his thoughts did not lie in the past at all. The big thing before him was that all Christians need a pause from the activities of life in order to prepare for heaven."

In the last days towards the end of February 1981, with great peace and assured hope, he believed that his earthly work was done. To his immediate family he said: 'Don't pray for healing, don't try to hold me back from the glory.' On March 1st, he passed on to the glory he had so often preached about on meeting the Saviour he had so faithfully proclaimed.

This also reminds me of Apostle Paul. He understood the future glory when he said “We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord.”

(2 Cor 5:8). Having a healthy appreciation of what our future holds will set us on a hopeful perspective when we are at the brink of death. “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?” (1 Cor 15:55)

The lack of eternal hope creates the proliferation of health products and supplements, exercise routines to shape up the body and the covering up of the signs of aging through plastic surgery. I look with amusement how people are in denial often of their true age. Jokingly they say, “After 40, we stop counting.”

Consider the joy of being able to grow old gracefully and to see that there’s beauty too in aging. I am not saying this because I am approaching the point of eternity or graying at a rapid rate (which is totally superfluous with my crown of graying hair). I probably have a good 25 years before that point if nothing serious happens to my body or God should decide for me “Time’s up!”

We need to start thinking about heaven a little more so that we are not so earthly bound that we have no eternal perspective. When I say heaven, I do mean the NEW heaven and earth that we read about in Revelation 21. We will then be blessed with a new perfect body. God now dwells with His people so much so that His glory will be the everlasting light source. We will be living on a new earth and not flapping our wings into ethereal worship! I find myself asking some of the following questions. What is heaven like? Will we ever be bored with eternity? Will we recognize our loved ones and will we have emotions? What kind of bodies will we have and what will earthly nature be like then? Do we still eat and ever grow fat or do we need to still exercise? Are we clothed and will there be music and what kind? How big will the new earth be and do we still keep time? At what age will we remain for eternity and what language do we use? Are there privacy and will we have a super mind? Will we still use science and can I be the scientist that build a starship Enterprise and explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before. “Beam me up, Scotty!” It sure is an exciting place! Think about that!

Wounded Soldier

In my nineteen years of ministry as a pastor, I have recognized that the unseen inner emotional wound is sometimes deadlier than a physical wound. Physical wound will eventually heal, leaving behind nothing more than an unsightly scar. We know our physical wound is healed when there’s no longer any pain when we press on it.

However, emotional wound is quite a different story. It can remain with us for the rest of our life. The wounds open up or close, or heal, depending on our receptivity for help. The worst part of emotional wounds is that they will be inflicted on other people, causing even greater wounds. In some sense, they are “transferable”.

Decent looking men or women may carry inner wounds, passing unnoticed until they rear their ugly heads. Inner wounds are inflicted in so many different ways. It can cripple a person for life. The tongue has great power and nothing hurts a person more than unkind words. “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” (Proverbs 18:21)

The emotional wounds in our human souls are like tuning forks resonating to anything that will bring out the hurt in us. The enemy takes cognizance of that and uses it to his full advantage. In the battle field, the enemy has a simple strategy and that is to wound or maim a soldier so that it takes another healthy one, or more, to tend to him. The army’s fighting strength is weakened in the process. If you think about it, that is a powerful strategy. In fact, some weapons are designed purely to maim and wound as they leave a lasting crippling effect on the rest.

How is this worked out in reality? The enemy will wound as many as he can in the Church so that healthy Christians will be distracted to tend to the wounded part of the Body and not be involved in the battle out there for the souls of men and women in the kingdom of darkness. Counselling and ministry for broken Christians keep the Church busy in tending to them. Broken marriages and families, hurtful words, unkind actions etc. are all damaging weapons of spiritual warfare. When the enemy wounds a man, he gets the whole family. The church then springs into action deploying healthy Christians, who are precious resources to counsel and minister to the wounded Christian.

Hence, instead of focusing on ministering to the lost, church leaders are often preoccupied with tending to the hurts of fellow Christians through counselling and prayer. All these can be avoided in the first place if God’s people are truly transformed and are renewed disciples of Jesus Christ. As the battle field of spiritual warfare is in our minds, our minds must be renewed (Romans 12:2). Discipling Christians to be strong to avoid and overcome the onslaught of the enemy should thus be our priority. 

Our challenge often is also not from without, but from within, which is why Christians are exhorted in the Scripture to love one another. In fact Jesus prays for us about this in John 17. The community of God is called to build up one another. The best strategy the enemy can deploy is to cause Christians to hurt one another.

Apostle Paul warns the church about “quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, factions, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder” (2 Corinthians 12:20). He speaks strongly against lawsuits among fellow believers without exhausting the avenue of Christian mediation (1 Corinthians 6:1-8) and the creation of factions within the church (1 Corinthians 3). He abhors those who disunite the church by false doctrines and encouraging “unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions and constant friction between men of corrupt mind” (1 Timothy 6:4b-5a)

The enemy knows he is powerless with a frontal attack because Christ has nullified his power through the cross. His strategy is thus to cast discord among God’s people. If we recognise that strategy, then we can overcome the enemy by simply practicing what God has commanded, which is: “to believe in the name of His Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as He commanded us.” (1 John 3:23)

Hence, one of our most powerful weapons of spiritual warfare is love. Without love, we are a resounding gong or clanging cymbal (1 Corinthians 13). We are nothing and we gain nothing. Out of the triad of Faith, Hope and Love, the greatest of these is Love (1 Corinthians 13:13). So as disciples of Jesus Christ, let us keep ourselves emotionally healthy and spiritually strong by loving each other. We should start with our own family.

Weddings and Funerals

I have officiated many weddings and conducted many funerals and wakes. This is a responsibility and also a privilege that I have as a pastor. While these events are poles apart in terms of the emotions involved, both can have positive e­ffects on our lives. Sometimes we can be attending them simply out of obligation or concern, but pause for a while and consider their implications. My life is enriched as I am always reminded of my own mortality and the importance of my marriage and family.

Consider the day one gets married. Life is full of excitement and possibilities. Yet the moment we step into it, we realize how different we are from our spouse. The very thing that attracted us to each other can be the very thing that tries to split us apart later. Before marriage, a man wants a wife who can converse with him intelligently. After marriage, why does she always have an opinion about things? Before marriage, a woman wants a man who is financially stable to provide for her and the family. After marriage, why is he never home? The honeymoon period dissolves quickly and reality hits when they stay together. At a recent Fathers Club meeting, a newly married young man humorously exclaimed, “We wanted to kill each other in the first three months of our marriage!”

In the grandeur of a wedding day, I am reminded that it is not how well the couple starts but how well they will finish someday.  A significant milestone for a marriage will be the wedding day of the couple’s children. Each wedding is also in some sense a graduation ceremony for the parents. A beautiful part of a DUMC wedding is the time given for the newly wedded couple to express their gratitude and love to their parents. Whether the sharing is one minute or three minutes, you can almost get an idea what their family relationships is like.

There will always be tears. The fathers will inevitably try very hard not to be emotional, faces contorting to keep their tears back, while mothers of course will let their tears run freely. The same can be said about wedding dinner speeches. I often wonder what it would be like as a father on the big day watching his son or daughter now leaving home for good to forge a different life with his or her new partner. We can never go back to where we were before with them. We cannot wind back the clock. These are powerful and tearful moments. I have often read in-between the lines of their speeches, of regrets or joy.

It reminds us as parents to have strong marriages for the sake of our children because that’s the only consistent model of marriage they will see in their growing years. The best commendation I have heard was when a groom said in his wedding speech that the reason why he wanted to get married early was because he longed for what he saw in his parent’s marriage. He did not want to miss out any longer when he met the girl of his dream. What a powerful testament and model of marriage and parenting the groom’s parents have been for the young couple! I left that wedding feeling inspired knowing that my strong marriage with my wife matters to our three sons. We must therefore work hard at staying joyfully married! We have just celebrated our 24 years of marriage!

In the sorrow of a funeral, one will also see the strength of the family relationships or the lack of it. The regrets or joys in the words of a dying person can be haunting or inspiring. I have held the hands of people in their last moments. I consider my presence with them a privilege because their last words, with life ebbing away from their earthly existence, are worth taking note of. Family relationships are at the top of their mind. The fear or confidence in facing their deaths reminds me about my own confidence in God. When I take my final breath, all that matters will be my relationship with God. My confidence in meeting my Maker will be a reflection of my journey with Him on earth.

I long to have what Apostle Paul has: Desiring to go, but willing to stay. ^"I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body." (Philippians 1:23-24) He longs for a far better place to go to where his Heavenly Father is, than to cling on here. But he is willing to stay because he knows of a higher purpose than himself so that many more can be brought from the Kingdom of darkness to the Kingdom of Light. That is why he can say, “But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13b-14).

Do yourself a favor. The next time you attend a wedding or a funeral, pause for a moment to reflect about your life. What is God saying?

Have a great life!

Reflections:

1. Has your parents’ marriage been inspiring? In what ways?

2. What would you want to have in your own marriage from what you saw in them?

3. What would you avoid?

4. If you are married, how would you rate your marriage from 1 to 10?

5. Would you consider your marriage an inspiration to your children and others in your community?

6. What would your children say if they were asked questions 1 to 3? (Try asking them.)

7. What do you think your thoughts will be during your dying moments? What would you say to me if I am by your side at that moment?

8. Are you confident in meeting your Maker? Describe the reasons why in your own words.

9. How would you apply the attitude of Paul in your own life: “Desiring to go, but willing to stay?” (2 Corinthians 5:8)

10. What new attitudes would you adopt from now on when you attend a funeral, wake or wedding?