When I was asked by the editor of a local Christian magazine
to write something about my own personal sacrifices in obeying God’s call to
full-time ministry, there was a hesitation on my end whether I can write such
an article. I will be entering my 25th year of work as a career
pastor. I have now the advantage of hindsight wisdom and perspective, which
would be dramatically different from the earlier years. I hesitated because I
have to ask myself, having experienced what I had in the last 24 years, were
there any “real” sacrifices that I had made? Our church DUMC's tagline to “Love God,
Serve People and Make Disciples” reminds us that loving and serving, whether
towards God or people, is synonymous. Sacrifices on our part is presumed.
Maybe these are the thoughts of a man entering the senior
years. Just unravelling life lessons from Song of Songs, Proverbs and
Ecclesiastes, tells you of a man who had seasoned through the ups and downs of
life to conclude that at the end of the day, nothing on earth will ever satisfy
except to find our purpose and significance in God. The journey of Solomon, vacillating
from wisdom, vanity and satisfaction, reminds us how unpredictable our hearts
are. No wonder Jeremiah lamented in Jeremiah 17:9 “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can
understand it?” He goes on to say in verse 10 “I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each
person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve.”
Hence my struggle with saying with a straight face sacrifices that I had made
in serving Him because He knows my heart.
The Call
The call to serve Him was a call to obedience in my
university years in Melbourne during a mission conference in the local church I
was attending. I committed myself to be willing to obey whatever He was calling
me to, whether to serve in my professional calling in the corporate world or to
full-time Christian ministry. Interestingly, my future wife also responded to
the same altar call although at that time we were not in a relationship yet. I
was trained as an engineer and for nine years after graduation and the eventual
marriage, my wife and I lived a lifestyle in such a way that if God should call
me, our financial commitment would allow us to do that.
In 1994, when I joined DUMC, I was 34 then, with a
4-year-old son. My wife and I had a desire to have maybe two or three more
children (we have 3 sons eventually) and our dreams for a family were no
different from anyone else. Primarily to be able to provide adequately for our
children in terms of their education and some of life’s little luxuries. In
discussing my employment financial package with the elders, the church then with
a small congregation of 200, could only pay us the amount that was the bare
minimum that would allow us to pay our bills and expenses each month that our
combined salaries could afford, without any savings at the end of the month. I
needed to take a 70% pay cut from what I was getting as an engineer. But I was
glad I could take a 70% pay cut, suggesting a lifestyle we had adopted in
preparation. Some Christians had lived beyond their means of a pay cut when the
calling came. This would be my advice to those contemplating a call from God to
full-time Christian work.
So, it was a step of faith with questions that bothers me as
a father and husband. What about the future of our children? Their education?
Will they end up disappointed with our financial position of not being able to
live and enjoy the privileges like their peers? Thank God for a wife who too
understand the calling of God and we both plunged into this uncertain yet
exciting journey of faith and ministry. My wife continued to work in her
corporate job and the Lord blessed her over the years.
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| Serving with open hands |
What sacrifice?
Twenty-four years later, the only conclusion we can make is
this: that God is no man’s debtor. Jesus clearly reminded us (Matt 6:25-34) to
look at the birds of the air and the flowers of the field and not to worry
about our life, what we will eat or drink, or about our body, what we will
wear. It was time then to put what we know from our head into our hearts. It
had been an incredible journey of seeing the growth of the church, the
provision of God for my family and the spiritual journey of maturity for all of
us as a family. What we needed to be clear about is not what we wanted or
desired for ourselves. Rather it is about finding out what God desires of our
lives. King David was called as man after God’s heart not so much because of what
he did for God, but rather at every turn of event in the battles of his life,
he inquired of the Lord. It suggests an intimacy with God such that he can
genuinely say “Better is one day in your
courts than a thousand elsewhere;” (Ps 84:10) When we begin to recognize
the depth of God’s love for us and the sacrifices He had made, any sacrifice we
make pales in comparison. It is no longer a sacrifice on our end to serve Him,
but a privilege to serve this Living God. There are just no sacrifices too big
compared to what He had done.
Hence, I find it awkward to start listing down the
sacrifices I had made in this journey. Were there sacrifices I had to made in
matters of dying to my fleshly dreams and desires? Yes of course. But I would
not exchange them for what I had experienced up to this point of my life.
I had used the Wesley Covenant Prayer as a renewal prayer in
our Watchnight services. This is a prayer used in the Methodist liturgy for the
Covenant Renewal Service. This prayer reflects the words of Apostle Paul: “19 Do you not know that
your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have
received from God? You are not your own;
20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your
bodies.” (1 Co 6:19–20).
I leave this prayer with you for your perusal, that in
considering a life time of service to God, it is about obedience, wherever He
calls you to, be faithful.
Wesley Covenant Prayer
I am no longer my own but yours.
Put me to what you will, rank me with whom you will;
put me to doing, put me to suffering;
let me be employed for you, or laid aside for you,
exalted for you, or brought low for you;
let me be full, let me be empty,
let me have all things, let me have nothing:
I freely and wholeheartedly yield all things
to your pleasure and disposal.
And now, glorious and blessed God, Father, Son and Holy
Spirit,
you are mine and I am yours.
And the covenant now made on earth, let it be ratified in
heaven. Amen.
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