We are NOT in control. God IS.

The country suffered a double whammy – the unexpected political fiasco which was unprecedented, and a tiny virus named COVID-19 that brought the whole world to a standstill, literally. How do we as disciples of Jesus respond in a Christlike manner? Surely no one will blame us for feeling frustrated, anxious or angry. This is the time we will be tested on what we believe about God and His sovereignty. Who we are is often tested not in good times, but in bad or challenging times. As the saying goes, it can bring the best or the worst out of us.

We read with amusement how supermarkets ran out of toilet papers and other essentials. What is it that drove this herd mentality? Psychologists suggest that it has to do with the need to do whatever it takes to try and get back some control individually over something beyond their control. Such desire would also be reflected in some now considering the next wave of migration to other countries for greener pastures.

It’s amazing how often God speaks in my simply daily bible reading and devotion about the issues I am facing. No less this time when we are having two national crises at hand, feeling often helpless, yet confident that the future is not determined by men, but by a sovereign God who is in control. How do you hold a healthy tension between being a citizen of this nation and of heaven? (Philippians 3:20–21 “²⁰ But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, ²¹ who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.”) How do we responsibly take all the necessary precautions to prevent infections, which is not a hundred per cent full proof anyway, and still trust that our lives are in God’s hands? How do we act on certain things and yet trust that God is sovereign in all things? There are no easy answers.

Our call is to be godly and useful citizens wherever He has placed us. We are called as a Body of believers to be salt and light. (Matthew5:13-16) We are not Malaysians by accident but by a sovereign act of God. (Acts 17:26 “From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands.”)  While we are here as pilgrims on this earth (Hebrews 11:13; John 17:16; 1 Peter 2:11), we subject ourselves to the governing authorities. (Romans 13:1 “Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God.”)

The signs of the end times just before the return of Jesus had been prophesized: (Luke 21:10–11 “¹⁰ Then he said to them: “Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. ¹¹ There will be great earthquakes, famines and pestilences in various places, and fearful events and great signs from heaven.”) It will get increasingly challenging, unsettling and chaotic, even for the church as persecutions increase in intensity. Jesus Himself said: (Luke 21:17–19 “¹⁷ Everyone will hate you because of me. ¹⁸ But not a hair of your head will perish. ¹⁹ Stand firm, and you will win life.”) Why are we surprise then when all these things happen?

It was in the midst of all these the Lord spoke to me from Luke 9:12-14 “¹² Late in the afternoon the Twelve came to him and said, “Send the crowd away so they can go to the surrounding villages and countryside and find food and lodging, because we are in a remote place here.” ¹³ He replied, “You give them something to eat.” They answered, “We have only five loaves of bread and two fish—unless we go and buy food for all this crowd.” ¹⁴ (About five thousand men were there.) But he said to his disciples, “Have them sit down in groups of about fifty each.””

We are all familiar with the feeding of the five thousand. There were probably double that number if we were to include the women and children. Because it was in a remote place in the late afternoon, the disciples were concern about the welfare of the crowd. The sooner they can dismiss the crowd, the better it is for people to fulfill their basic need to food and lodging. The disciples had done their homework. They had only five loaves and two fish. The strange part of the story was that Jesus instructed them to give the crowd something to eat. He was asking them to do the impossible! It was an impossible sum – five loaves plus two fish were not equal to five thousand men!

Jesus was basically saying to them the obvious - “You can’t.” They had no choice but to look to Jesus and allow Him to take over. Having sat the crowd down so that they are ready to receive their food, Jesus took the small portion of bread and fish, gave thanks to His Heavenly Father, and had the disciples began distributing them. I can imagine the scene and the increasing amazement in witness of a wonder. It was a miracle of an impossible scale. Not only did they all eat but they were also satisfied, meaning there were more than enough to go around. The disciples even picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces left over.

The Lord put me into the shoes of the disciples. It was an impossible sum and I am definitely not in control of the situation. When we look to Jesus, He did a miracle only when we surrender the little we have to Him. No wonder Jesus said we only need to have the faith of a mustard seed to move mountains. (Matthew 17:20) It is not our faith that is of concern, but the object of our faith who is Christ. The number five, represented by the five loaves, symbolizes human weakness and limitation in the light of God’s covenant and grace. Man is insufficient in himself. Adding the two fish to the five loaves gave a total sum of seven which symbolizes the perfection and completeness of God. This story reminds us that we are never sufficient and adequate in ourselves until we surrender everything to Jesus. We can miss the Presence and Provision of God in the limitation of our five loaves and two fish.

What is God saying in our double whammy? We are not in control. God is. Is God turning our eyes to Jesus at this very moment? Are our lives, and the church, shining forth the glory of God in the midst of uncertainties? It is a time to build faith and not fear. It is a time of reflection and examination. It is a time to pray and do what's right where truth, justice and righteousness are concern. Are we harnessing this as a discipleship moment for the entire church? We continue to function (in all acts of compassion, mercy and justice) as always, and more, until He comes again. We are not in control of things in our lives. Only God is. Our hope is in God.

Déjà vu - Looking back through the years!

Noticed this comment in a Facebook comment on Edwin Tan's post:

Edwin Tan Chee Pin Constance Lo - i learnt this 14 years ago, when my oldest boy (Joseph) was 2 months old, and i was clueless on what to do. my senior pastor Chris Kam wrote on how he brings his sons out one-on-one each week. so i decided to try it - and it's the best 'piece of advice' i've had - easy to do, but yet so effective.

This was the article that I wrote in 2005 for Floodgates, 14 years' ago as Edwin mentioned. What a reminder that I am glad I invested into all my sons. They are now 14 years older and are now adults!

My Three Sons – Arrows in a Quiver  Nov-Dec 2005 Pr Chris Kam

A DUMC member came excitingly to me two weeks ago exclaiming that she met someone who knows me. She was at a function in another church and found out that this man, YK, who is my optometrist. YK had told her that something that I shared with him had encouraged him so much that he decided to do something about it. I remembered the incident and little did I know that a casual sharing would have led someone to radically change the way he parents his children.

This casual encounter happened in McDonald about two months ago where I was having supper with Ashton, my youngest 8-year old son. This was my regular weekly father-son time on a Monday after his music class. YK was having dinner with his family and as usual in his jovial self, he came over for a quick chat. “Where are your two other sons?” he asked. “There are no two other sons here. Just me and Ashton, our father and son time.” I could see that his ears pricked up trying to figure out what I mean. “What do you mean ‘father and son’ time?” he asked. “Exactly as I said, ‘father and SON’ time”, I replied, emphasizing the word ‘son’ in singular.

“I do this with each of my sons every week. Sort of like my usual pastoral appointments, but with my sons, instead of my church members, written down in my diary. It’s a weekly one: Monday afternoon with Ian (my 15-year old), Monday night with Ashton and Wednesday night with Shaun (my 10-year old). Non-negotiable, unless I am outstation or having an important meeting that cannot be changed.”

“Hmmmm…. “ YK muttered something under his breath. “All three every week … that must be tough considering the amount of time required if for each you spent two hours with. That must have taken a lot of discipline on your part.”

“I have been meeting like this with Ian since he was 4 years old. That’s eleven years in total sitting like this one on one, talking about anything and everything. Tough as it may be being man and boy, you know the male thingy of being bad conversationalists; we just learn to talk about everything under the sun. Of course there were silent moments but there is food to keep our mouth full!” We broke out in laughter with Ashton looking cute and wondering what these big fellas are up to.

“YK, it’s really hard work, and fattening too, because it always happens in a restaurant. I give them a choice where they would like to go. I am sick of roti canai and you would have figured out by now why. They love roti canai. But it’s cheaper.”

“But, it is extremely rewarding. For one, my sons cannot accuse me some day of dad not spending enough time with them. But the real value is in building a trust relationship that until today at 15 years old, Ian still shares with me about everything … including whom he likes, and you know, birds and bees stuff. I rather that he hears from me than from his peers, or the media. I am so glad that we didn’t really go through the ‘dad and mum my worst enemies’ teenage phase that I have been warned about. Ian said to me a few months back that I am his best friend and that’s the greatest compliment I think a father can receive from his son.”

By now, YK is furiously processing through in his mind the implication of what I am saying. He has three children himself, around the same ages, and I wasn’t really sure what he was up to until this was related to me. I was told that since he heard what I shared, not only has he and his wife started a one-on-one with their children, they have encouraged others in his church to start doing the same because they have found it so helpful in their parenting.

Something so simple, yet powerful. I am reminded of Psalm 127:3-5 Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.

Parents, our children are like arrows. We are the archers. When they are properly shaped and sharpened, and in the hands of expert marksman, they will go the distance and to places where we can’t go ourselves. We need to think two generations ahead, so that they can become godly fathers themselves. The success of my life can only been seen when I am no longer around, that is, in the lives of my children’s children, that they will blessed by what I am doing now with my own children. That’s the heart cry of our heavenly Father. He’s a multi-generational God!

My 10 Year Big Idea from 2016

Moses was an extraordinary leader in a sense that he wrestled with God over his call. He was clear in his mind that unless God is there with him, it is pointless going where he wanted to go with his people. In Exodus 33:12-23, we observe the incredible dialogue between God and man. Moses knew the marching order. “Lead these people.” (V.12) but God had not told him yet who He will send with him. He knew he had the favour of God over him. His desire was that God will teach him His ways rather than be dependent on his limited human understanding. God went beyond that and said this amazing line: “My Presence will go with you, and I will give your rest.”
For most of us, we would be thinking that God’s call will demand a lot of hard work and sacrifices. Why did God say that He will give Moses rest? We often misunderstand the phrase “hard work” with “strive”. Certainly, we see how much work there is in leading 600,000 adult males (Exodus 12:37), which would imply a total population of 2 to 2.5 million people, when Egypt’s population at the time was only about 3 to 4.5 million. That’s hard work! The “rest” here meant the final destination of the land of Canaan, the Promised Land. In today’s context, that rest in the spiritual realm is the rest of salvation (Hebrews 4:1). Faith in God was the key to entering that rest (Hebrews 4:2).

The Greek definition for rest is “to be refreshed, to abide, to cease and to settle down.” True rest in God allows us to live rejuvenated and be at peace with ourselves and others. The opposite of rest is restlessness, always having the feeling that there is something more to do, something else to get right, a sense of wanting to be more in control, in order to relax and have a sense of accomplishment and self-worth. Sounds like an oxymoron desire yet in this way we strive in restlessness towards an elusive rest. I resonated with an adage I came across that says “When we strive, God waits. When we rest, God acts.”


It was in such a perspective that I asked God to show me the way as I lead DUMC for the next ten years as I take on the role of the Senior Pastor mid of last year. I wanted God to be there at the end of that ten years when I pass on the baton. I wanted to learn to lead in restedness and not restless strive. I wanted to achieve the goal, not of growth, but of grace because growth is His work and not mine (1 Cor 3:6). All I need to do is provide a space for spiritual nurture, health and His Presence for God’s people and God will cause the growth.

So I asked Him, what will DUMC be like in 10 years’ time? Very clearly, He had said to me to build DUMC not for ourselves but for our children and their children. While it may seem logical that every church should do so, yet by design, we often do not as we are stuck in our old human ways and preferences. The Lord reminded me often not to harbor pride because we have “eaten more salt” and hence there’s nothing much we can learn from young people. We need the humility to sit down with them and hear what they have to say about church. We pray that church is relevant to them as much as it is to us. In being part of us, they catch on the vision and purpose that everything we do must be for the sake of the Gospel, empowered by the Holy Spirit, in a spiritual environment of prayer and worship. We must be strong in both the Word and the Spirit. We must have an encounter with God in all that we do, a deep sense of belonging to a community and given a calling higher than ourselves.


Jesus summed up for us a personal and corporate calling of the Great Commandment (Matthew 22:36-40) and the Great Commission (Matthew 28:18-20). To “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” (Luke 10:27) is a clarion call to love God and others. This sums up the 613 laws of the Old Testament into two commandments which is a stroke of divine wisdom and brilliance of our Lord that simplify an otherwise complicated set of rules to live by. The Great Commission defines the core business of the church to make disciples and not just believers. A disciple is taught to obey everything Jesus commanded. In one stroke, we understand what it means to be a Christian and to be Church.

The one word that would describe what DUMC will be like at the end of it all is the word “Christlikeness”. Christlikeness can come in so many forms but what the Lord had impressed upon my heart are these five words or phrases that reflect what it means to be Christlike. They are “Honour, Humility, Be Real, Pass-It-On and Fun.” They are by no means exhaustive but these are the key core habits that will be spun into other characteristics of Christlikeness. I call them habits because it is something that is so much part of us that it becomes an inherent subconscious act and an automatic natural code of conduct that comes out of our being. We are not merely talking about behavioral modifications but a heart transformation that comes out as a fruit of the Spirit. When we are God and people honouring, with the humility of a servant to serve like our Lord Jesus, and being real and authentic in who we are in a non-judgmental atmosphere of acceptance, and remembering always to pass it on to others in a platform of discipleship, and while doing all that we have fun, and inner joy being evident, that would be an amazing church to be in. Would we be inspired to ask God for that?


Let me sum up in just one phrase to give us a sense of purpose and unity to what we hope to see in ten years’ time and beyond. If someone were to ask you, what is DUMC and what do you stand for? You simply need to say we are to: “Love God, Serve People, Make Disciples towards Christlikeness with the core habits of Honour, Humility, Be Real, Pass-It-On and Fun.” That’s it! It doesn’t have to be complicated but let’s have fun doing all these. I look forward to running this race with you and be awed by the Presence of God.

Small Sacrifice

When I was asked by the editor of a local Christian magazine to write something about my own personal sacrifices in obeying God’s call to full-time ministry, there was a hesitation on my end whether I can write such an article. I will be entering my 25^th year of work as a career pastor. I have now the advantage of hindsight wisdom and perspective, which would be dramatically different from the earlier years. I hesitated because I have to ask myself, having experienced what I had in the last 24 years, were there any “real” sacrifices that I had made? Our church DUMC's tagline to “Love God, Serve People and Make Disciples” reminds us that loving and serving, whether towards God or people, is synonymous. Sacrifices on our part is presumed.

Maybe these are the thoughts of a man entering the senior years. Just unravelling life lessons from Song of Songs, Proverbs and Ecclesiastes, tells you of a man who had seasoned through the ups and downs of life to conclude that at the end of the day, nothing on earth will ever satisfy except to find our purpose and significance in God. The journey of Solomon, vacillating from wisdom, vanity and satisfaction, reminds us how unpredictable our hearts are. No wonder Jeremiah lamented in Jeremiah 17:9 “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” He goes on to say in verse 10 “I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve.” Hence my struggle with saying with a straight face sacrifices that I had made in serving Him because He knows my heart.

The Call

The call to serve Him was a call to obedience in my university years in Melbourne during a mission conference in the local church I was attending. I committed myself to be willing to obey whatever He was calling me to, whether to serve in my professional calling in the corporate world or to full-time Christian ministry. Interestingly, my future wife also responded to the same altar call although at that time we were not in a relationship yet. I was trained as an engineer and for nine years after graduation and the eventual marriage, my wife and I lived a lifestyle in such a way that if God should call me, our financial commitment would allow us to do that.

In 1994, when I joined DUMC, I was 34 then, with a 4-year-old son. My wife and I had a desire to have maybe two or three more children (we have 3 sons eventually) and our dreams for a family were no different from anyone else. Primarily to be able to provide adequately for our children in terms of their education and some of life’s little luxuries. In discussing my employment financial package with the elders, the church then with a small congregation of 200, could only pay us the amount that was the bare minimum that would allow us to pay our bills and expenses each month that our combined salaries could afford, without any savings at the end of the month. I needed to take a 70% pay cut from what I was getting as an engineer. But I was glad I could take a 70% pay cut, suggesting a lifestyle we had adopted in preparation. Some Christians had lived beyond their means of a pay cut when the calling came. This would be my advice to those contemplating a call from God to full-time Christian work.

So, it was a step of faith with questions that bothers me as a father and husband. What about the future of our children? Their education? Will they end up disappointed with our financial position of not being able to live and enjoy the privileges like their peers? Thank God for a wife who too understand the calling of God and we both plunged into this uncertain yet exciting journey of faith and ministry. My wife continued to work in her corporate job and the Lord blessed her over the years.

Serving with open hands

What sacrifice?

Twenty-four years later, the only conclusion we can make is this: that God is no man’s debtor. Jesus clearly reminded us (Matt 6:25-34) to look at the birds of the air and the flowers of the field and not to worry about our life, what we will eat or drink, or about our body, what we will wear. It was time then to put what we know from our head into our hearts. It had been an incredible journey of seeing the growth of the church, the provision of God for my family and the spiritual journey of maturity for all of us as a family. What we needed to be clear about is not what we wanted or desired for ourselves. Rather it is about finding out what God desires of our lives. King David was called as man after God’s heart not so much because of what he did for God, but rather at every turn of event in the battles of his life, he inquired of the Lord. It suggests an intimacy with God such that he can genuinely say “Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere;” (Ps 84:10) When we begin to recognize the depth of God’s love for us and the sacrifices He had made, any sacrifice we make pales in comparison. It is no longer a sacrifice on our end to serve Him, but a privilege to serve this Living God. There are just no sacrifices too big compared to what He had done.

Hence, I find it awkward to start listing down the sacrifices I had made in this journey. Were there sacrifices I had to made in matters of dying to my fleshly dreams and desires? Yes of course. But I would not exchange them for what I had experienced up to this point of my life.

I had used the Wesley Covenant Prayer as a renewal prayer in our Watchnight services. This is a prayer used in the Methodist liturgy for the Covenant Renewal Service. This prayer reflects the words of Apostle Paul: “¹⁹ Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; ²⁰ you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” (1 Co 6:19–20).

I leave this prayer with you for your perusal, that in considering a life time of service to God, it is about obedience, wherever He calls you to, be faithful.

Wesley Covenant Prayer

I am no longer my own but yours.

Put me to what you will, rank me with whom you will;

put me to doing, put me to suffering;

let me be employed for you, or laid aside for you,

exalted for you, or brought low for you;

let me be full, let me be empty,

let me have all things, let me have nothing:

I freely and wholeheartedly yield all things

to your pleasure and disposal.

And now, glorious and blessed God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit,

you are mine and I am yours.

And the covenant now made on earth, let it be ratified in heaven. Amen.

Be With Jesus

We have often heard the adage that we must be before we do. What we do does not determine who we are in God. Meaning God loves us not on the basis of what we do for Him. But rather, He loves us for the worth He sees in us despite our fallen nature. We are made in His image and intrinsically we carry something of His nature. The understanding of who we are is the foundation to our life on earth as we answer His call to serve Him.

Doing defines us. Or putting it another way, we do because we are. One of the amazing privileges we have as His children is to serve God and people. We are created to do good works. (Eph 2:10) Once we discover who we are, created to bear fruit in every good work (Col 1:10), we live out that calling. I am challenged by John Wesley: “Do all the good you can. By all the means you can. In all the ways you can. In all the places you can. At all the times you can. To all the people you can. As long as ever you can.” We don’t serve to gain favour. We serve because that’s who we are.

As we do that faithfully, there is a tendency over time to serve not out of our being, but our doing. We get weary and burdened, eventually leading to burnout. “We cannot make up for failure in our devotional life by redoubling energy in service. We shall never take people beyond our own spiritual attainment.” (William Griffith Thomas)

One of the keys to a consistent and life-long effective ministry is to discover what the apostles were doing in their spiritual lives. I am intrigued by a verse in the book of Acts on one such key. Peter, who was with John, was instrumental in the healing of a lame beggar in Acts 3. Crowds were attracted to this incredible miracle of this lame man “walking and jumping, and praising God.” (Acts 3:8) In Acts 4, Peter preached to the onlookers about the Messiah, which greatly disturbed the priests, captain of the temple guard and the Sadducees. They seized Peter and John and put them in jail until the next day. They were brought before the Sanhedrin, which is the supreme judicial and ecclesiastical council of ancient Jerusalem. In that exchange, here’s what the priests said. “When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.” (Acts 4:13)

How did they know that Peter and John had been with Jesus? I wish Luke had spelt out the criteria of that observation. Would people around say the same about us who are too disciples of Jesus? Not so much about what we have done, but that we have been with Jesus. They were trained from the onset of their calling by Jesus in that way. “Jesus went up on a mountainside and called to him those he wanted, and they came to him. He appointed twelve that they might be with him and that he might send them out to preach ¹⁵ and to have authority to drive out demons.” (Mark 3:13-15)

What does it mean to be with Him? It is a relational call of making time for the One who is our Friend, Brother, Saviour and God. We cannot have any meaningful relationship without making time for each other. To be with Him is to make regular time to read His Word and have a two-way conversation. It is not about putting a tick on our daily to-do list for our devotions and prayer time of presenting our request list. It is not merely functional. At the heart of it is relational. The hazard of the modern urban life is that we have no time. Yet everyone has 24 hours, no more and no less. We say time is money and we need to be efficient and effective in all that we do so that we don’t waste time. Yet, have you ever thought that we can and should “waste time” with God? We don’t understand the principle that when we hear God clearly of His will for our lives, we actually save time and even from heartaches and disappointments. There is something about being with Jesus that we begin to center our lives around His agenda and not ours, which could be dramatically out of sync with God’s because we are carnal by nature.

To be with Him is the highest calling for the child of God. Apostle Paul understood that when He said “I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.” (Philippians 1:23-24). Here’s that key again. He knew and longed for that intimacy with Christ.

Often I hear Christians asking: “What else do we do in heaven?” That is the wrong question. One day in the new heaven and the new earth, doing is not the heart of existence. “And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.” (Revelation 21:3) God will BE with us and He will live amongst us. What makes heaven “heaven” then? It's about who we will BE with. With Him and with His people. Heaven is all about relationships. What we will do thereafter for eternity will be unimaginable creativity and joy being in existence.

Therefore, learning to be with Him on earth is a practice run! In the light of all that is happening around us in our nation, with all the uncertainties, challenges and threats, what gives us hope and clarity is the certainty of God’s Presence in our lives. We are not to be paralysed by the fear of the unknown but as in the example set forth by the apostles, if and when the time comes, we will be known as people who had been with Jesus.

Discipleship towards Christlikeness is a call to know Jesus and to be with Him. It is simply helping another person be with Jesus as you continue to make time to be with Jesus. When we learn to do that, we don’t struggle too much in answering this question: “What is the Holy Spirit saying to you?” To be with Him then is the highest calling!

What Will You Leave Behind?

Every Christian leaves something behind when he or she is finally called home to be with the Lord someday. Leaving a legacy or a heritage is not an option. The question is, “What type of legacy do you leave behind?” This could be one of the most profound question that may change the way you live your life.

You see, your family pass on a legacy to you – good or bad – because that is what they have. And you will pass on a legacy to your children by which they will live by. It would be reasonable to say that all parents would love to leave something good for their children to the best of their abilities. But what is the thing of greatest value that we can leave behind for them? The things of greatest value would be reflected by what we put our time to. Excellence in academic pursuits and extracurricular activities are something we Malaysian parents take pride in. Hence the constant shuttle between one tuition to another after school and on top of that, all kinds of classes from swimming to music. There is a mad race to chase after the things that we think will get our children ahead of the pack. But are they really things of greatest worth?

An added challenge would be that we are not only to pass these on just to the next generation, but beyond that. “A good person leaves an inheritance for their children’s children” (Proverbs 13: 22) Generational blessings are to be a norm in God’s plan for our families. “One generation will commend your works to another; they will tell of your mighty acts. They will speak of the glorious splendour of your majesty, and I will meditate on your wonderful works.” (Psalm 145:4–5)

Martin Luther, a seminal figure in the Protestant Movement, was asked what he would do if he knew he were going to die tomorrow. His simple reply was "I would go out and plant a tree." He would, in other words, leave behind a legacy of life that would grow on and on into the future. This brings into questions the focus of many in their quests to leave behind wealth, possessions and good academic qualifications. These things, while good to have, will not be the things that are essential for a lasting Godly legacy.

In the studies of the book of Joshua, in particular chapter one, when Moses passed on his leadership baton to Joshua, there was a clarity about three things that Joshua received from God as he prepared to enter the Promised Land. First, there was a clarity of God’s call. “I will give you every place where you set your foot, as I promised Moses. “Your territory will extend from the desert to Lebanon, and from the great river, the Euphrates—all the Hittite country—to the Mediterranean Sea in the west.” (Joshua 1:3-4) God gave precise detail of what he needed Joshua to follow through. Otherwise he will be wandering aimlessly through the region and never arriving, typical of many who are living their lives chasing after the wind, blindfolded. Our children can be climbing the corporate ladder and to realise when they finally reached the top, it is leaning on the wrong wall! Learning to live in accordance to God’s commandments will save us a lot time and heartaches in the latter years. How do we discern God’s will? By reading His word and hearing His voice. Jesus said “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.” (John 10:27) Knowing the Bible well will ensure that the voices we hear, if they are conflicting, will be filtered accordingly because He will never instruct us on something contrary to His Word. Hence, the first principle is this: teach your children to hear the voice of God and to discern His will.

Second, there is a clarity about God’s Presence. “No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Joshua 1:5) The stories of Joshua in chapters 2 to 12, crossing of the Jordan river (Chapter 3), the defeat of Jericho and Ai (Chapter 6 and 8), battles with the 31 kings and the day the sun stood still for a whole day (Chapter 10), are powerful stories of God’s faithfulness and deliverance in the lives of the Israelites. These stories are told from one generation to another and immortalized in the Bible. Testimonies like these build faith. The question is, what stories do you leave behind of God’s faithfulness? DUMC is a story of faith that will be passed on to our next generation. Our ministries to people and mission to the world are powerful stories of life’s transformations. It is about raising up home and workplace ministers as salt of the earth and light of the world. The Church is present through you and your children in the world. Powerful legacies are always about transformed lives. The second principle evolves around teaching your children to experience the Presence of God. Leave behind powerful stories of how God dealt with you.

Third, there is a clarity of God’s enabling. “Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them.” (Joshua 1:6) The call to be strong and courageous was a divine call and encouragement made by God to Joshua three times. Hence we recognise that God often allows challenges and difficulties in our lives to grow and mature us. Don’t be too quick therefore to wish away challenges and problems. Problems and challenges build faith. The bigger the problem the bigger the building of our faith because we have a BIG God. The third principle would then be to teach your children to experience God’s enabling. Challenge them to serve their Almighty God and they will experience His enabling in powerful ways. Teach and show them to step out in faith and do not be too quick to bail them out of difficult situations because that would jolly well be the best learning experiences they can go through as they cry out to God.

My challenge therefore to all of us would be to build DUMC not just for ourselves with our own preferences, but to build it for our children and their children. We find too many young people leaving the church they grew up in because they no longer find it relevant. The generation after Joshua turned away from God. Let’s not be found making the same mistake. The most important legacy is a life of faith in God that leads to eternal life. “For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?” (Mt 16:26, ESV). Often we are concern about our children’s physical provision. Have we thought about their spiritual provision, helping them to move from second-hand to a first-hand faith?

In my personal reflection, the book of Joshua was a practical outworking of the promises of God. Simply stated, God is saying in the battle field of life, “Follow me, you win. Leave me, you lose.”  Obedience brings blessings and disobedience brings curses. I succinctly summed up the whole series in these words: “Without God, we cannot. Without us, God will not.” Joshua not only emphasized the faithfulness of God but also the responsibility of Israel. This is the mystery of faith. Although God could do it all on His own yet He gave us a choice to serve Him because He wants to work through us! If Joshua and the people of Israel had not co-operated with God, their entry into the Promised Land would not have happened, and yet without God and without His interventions, they could not possibly have done it. This I believe will be the most powerful legacy we can leave behind.

Thanksgiving as a Spiritual Weapon

Slightly over a year ago on 1 Dec 2014, my wife and I were having dinner with a Korean missionary couple and the subject of Thanksgiving came up as the Americans had just celebrated it. He said his church in America had encouraged him to make it personal by listing down the things that he is thankful for at the end of each year. He encouraged me to do likewise and to make it a habit.

So armed with my Evernote, I started ambitiously by having a goal of listing down 500 things I am thankful for in 2014. It was hard going at some points but for the next 30 days, I started writing. By the time 31 Dec 2014 arrived, I had completed my list of 500. I was amazed that I did have 500 things that I am thankful for!

At the end of 2015 last year, I decide to slow down a little by targeting 100. I would like to chew on each item a little longer so that I can savour and linger on the blessing and grace of God over the last twelve months. What have I learnt from these exercises?

The psalmist exhorts us to “Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise;” (Psalm 100:4a) Being thankful and contented is a virtue. Thankfulness is reflected throughout all of Paul’s letters. Despite being a man who had borne the brunt of persecutions, sufferings, hardship, dangers, poverty, rejections and even when he wasn’t healed of a lifelong ailment, he remained in a state of thankfulness. His assurance from God was “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Cor. 12:7-8).

This heart of thanksgiving is encapsulated in this exhortation: “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thes. 5:16-18) It is easy to give thanks when things are good. We see that all the time on social media. Rarely have I seen someone who gives thanks when things are going wrong. Except one in the recent weeks where a brother gave thanks to God for his wife who had just gone home to be with the Lord due to cancer. His facebook post: “It has been 11 days since my beloved went to be with the Lord. She is walking and leaping and praising God and I am so happy for her. It still leaves me in a place of loneliness and aching heart but I am OK because my God is supplying all that I need.”

It is not always easy to give thanks in ALL circumstances, but this is precisely the thing we must do to experience God’s grace in our lives. Two things happen when we inculcate a heart of thanksgiving. First, it breaks the power of the enemy over us. It is a powerful weapon of spiritual warfare. When we are thankful we invite God’s pleasure over us and the enemy no longer has any ability to hold or manipulate us in our discouragement, despair or anger. We begin to learn to ask not so much of the WHY-is-this-happening in our circumstances but the WHAT-can-we-learn. We may never know or control the whys but we can certainly decide to learn from the whats.

Second, thanksgiving brings contentment. Apostle Paul’s advice to Timothy was “But godliness with contentment is great gain.” (1 Tim. 6:6) He reminded the young man that they came into the world with nothing and will take nothing out. As long as they have food and clothing, they ought to be contented. Elisabeth Elliot who faced the tragedy of losing a husband in the mission field was quoted as saying “Discontent dries up the soul.” She wrote "To love God is to love His will. It is to wait quietly for life to be measured by one who knows us through and through. It is to be content with His timing and His wise apportionment.”

Another obstacle to contentment is that we tend to compare upwards. We look at what we don’t have rather than what we have. One of the easiest ways to die to that is get involved with people who are less fortunate than us. Some of the finest people I know are people who are serving the poor and the less fortunate. The poor have a way of reminding us how blessed and fortunate we are. Never wish we could be someone else or compare ourselves with them. Be happy with or learn to accept who you are because you cannot change that.

Therefore here’s a practical way to start you going, by writing your thanksgiving list before year end. What a great way to end the year by re-aligning our attitude and start with hope. By all means, list down the blessings, but avoid the temptation to ignore the failures, losses, missteps or defeats. Pause when you need to for some items. Often the journey may be more important than the destination as it is God’s way of moulding us for what He is preparing us for.

The Lord reminded me that we can go one step further. We can be instrumental in helping someone be thankful. Last week at a shopping mall, as I was waiting for my turn to pay at the parking token machine, I notice this elderly Malay gentleman hesitating in front of me in the queue. He was holding a RM 100 bill and he said he had no smaller bills. He didn’t know whether the machine will accept it. I told him to give it a go.  The machine displayed RM6 as the amount owing and upon inserting his RM100 bill and it was rejected. Instinctively, I took out a RM10 bill from my wallet, inserted it into the machine and gave him the paid token. He didn’t have time to react but I could see his concerned face break into a smile and insisting on paying me at least with the other one ringgit bill he had. I walked away saying “No need, it’s my pleasure.” The phrase “It is more blessed to give than receive.” (Acts 20:35) flashed in my mind. No doubt it is something small and probably insignificant. But if that man was to write a thanksgiving list, he may write about the stranger who helped him pay RM6 in that time of his need. The Lord reminded me to be listed on someone else’s thanksgiving list.

Is there a perfect husband or wife out there?

Last Friday night at my cell group meeting, we celebrated the 22nd wedding anniversary of a dear couple by putting them on a hot seat for the young adults to glean life lessons from on a marriage with a combined total of 44 years of marriage experience and three children later. I have often said to young people that wisdom is about asking the right questions. Our education system, and even the way our church celebrations or services are structured, they are often more than not monologues. Jesus' style of discipling was usually done by sitting around in a circle, facing one another and mutually asking good and provoking questions. You see that often in their dialogues found in the Gospels, whether in a room, in the field, in their journeys, or literally any and everywhere. Sometimes Jesus would answer their questions with another question. 

Google has introduced a whole new culture of information overload. The wisdom of google is not in the answers that can be found there. There are tons and tons of answers and information. It is in asking the right question that Google is at its best. Let me qualify by saying too that the answers may not necessarily be correct or truthful. A great amount of discernment and wisdom is needed to filter them correctly

Good questions were asked of this couple. How do you know you are right for one another? Is it about compatibility? Is it about communications? What roles do parents play for their children in matters of a life partner? How do you maintain the sizzle or passion in your marriage? How do you keep going with all the challenges? How does having children alter your relationship? 

One thing this couple can attest to is the importance of pre-marital counselling which is vital to prepare the couple for what's ahead. I have realized too that generally speaking there is no such thing as a compatible couple. The moment you think you are, you will be in for a big surprise because living together in the same house is a whole new ball game altogether with both coming from completely different family background and culture. Before marriage, when they have a disagreement, they can go home and not see each other for a while until things cool down. When they are married, they do not have such a luxury. There is no "going home" because they are at home. They sleep on the same bed in tension. They just need to work things out eventually and conflict resolution is an important skill of learning to listen, negotiate and compromise. I would call that the skill of adapting. Therefore the issue is not about compatibility, but adaptability. Learning to adapt is a posture of love. It is not about what we can get out of a relationship only, but how we can give to it. In fact, "agape" love is unconditional. Meaning, we love not because of, but in spite of. That's the vow couples made to one another at the wedding altar.

For better for worse,

For richer for poorer,

In sickness and in health,

To love and to cherish,

Till death do us part,

And hereto I pledge you my faith.

Hence marriage is laboratory of relationship of learning how to love unconditionally. Only when love is worked out this way can we find deep fulfilling relationship knowing that we are genuinely loved. How often people get into marriage to get, and when they cannot find what they are looking for, they opt out. Where can we learn how love to love like this? We can only learn that from Someone who had loved like this.

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:6-8) 

One last tip I gave was to observe the person how he (or she) treats people above him, next to him and below him. Watch how he respects authority, whether it is to his parents, bosses, pastors or leaders. Watch how he treats his friends, colleagues and cell group members. Then most importantly, watch how he treats people "below" him, his subordinates, the underprivileged, disabled, or poor, and most interestingly, watch how he treats children. It will give you a clue what kind of person you will be living with and the culture of relationship with whom you will forge together for your family.

So, no, there is no perfect husband or wife out there. If you find one, don’t marry that person because you will make him or her imperfect! Worse still, you will be terribly disappointed and disillusioned over a broken dream because there is no such perfection. Happy “hunting!”

The Power of a Men's Community

Men Alive recently was featured in Christianity Malaysia. Click the link below for an encouraging report.

Click here or on the image for the link.

Creating Great Habits for the Year

I have always known that having good habits in life is important. Just that I didn’t know exactly why except for the fact I don’t have to think much about my habitual actions as I go about my daily life. By virtue of its definition, a habit is simply a process by which our brains convert a sequence of actions or tasks into an automatic routine. Examples of that are instances when we comb our hair, brush our teeth, drive our cars and put on our socks! Interestingly, a lot of my creative ideas materialize when I am in my daily shower! I thought to myself maybe I am one of those odd ones until I hear others talking about it as well. We don’t think much about our actions there because we do them automatically. Turn on the tap, wet and shampoo our hair, soap our body, rinse away the soapsuds, wash our face with cleanser, towel dry our hair and body and out we go.

Normal stuff each day, right? Until I began to observe a pattern over the years that many of my creative ideas, insights and thoughts come from that habit. There were times, after my showers, I would quickly write my thoughts down on my notepad before I forget them. I notice the same when I drive. My smartphone with a voice recording feature is a great tool to have in place of the notepad, especially when my hands are on the wheel!

I learnt recently that habits are simply the wonders of our brains designed by God in such a way that they drive us to be more productive and efficient. When tasks and behaviours are automated, meaning we do them without much thinking and effort, we free our brains for other creative work. We don’t usually think about them until something disrupts that pattern. Even my habit of going to the gym is programmed into my brain with the ultimate reward of an endorphin rush that my body looks forward to. This is a good habit to have in order to push me towards greater body fitness. When I skip my gym sessions, there is that uneasy and discontented feeling. Pianists understand this principle in their daily disciple of practicing their scales. This fundamental habit and skill must be in them before they can be great musicians because it frees up their brains to be musically creative and expressive without worrying about hitting the right notes.

But what about spiritual habits? Working on the same principle, if we can inculcate some great spiritual habits with automatic routines, our minds can be freed up to be spiritually creative and receptive in our life. Some great spiritual habits are our daily quiet time with the Lord which allows us to learn intimacy with Him. Cultivating a habitual heart of thanksgiving removes the complaining spirit in us. Regular church and cell group attendance encourage accountability and growth. Consistent service in ministry increases our capacity in our spiritual gifting and call.

Often I see Christians struggle in these basic habits. Much of their energy is spent on pushing themselves to do them. For e.g. in something as simple as attending the regular church celebration, they struggle to make time knowing that it is the right thing to do yet not discipline enough to make it regular. Even if they end up going, much of their energy is expended by the time they get to church and the whole exercise becomes an obligation rather than a time of anticipation and intimacy with God. No wonder the Christian life is so burdensome. Multiply that into the various Christian disciplines of daily devotion, tithes and offerings, cell group, ministry, etc., no wonder so many are ineffective for God because their minds are not freed up to be creative in the way they can grow in intimacy with God and love for others.

In many sense, good and bad spiritual habits are well illustrated in Romans 7:7-25: the colossal struggle between the spirit and the flesh. “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” (Romans 7:15) Good habits feed the spirit and bad habits conversely feed the flesh. In the simplest of terms, in our daily lives, if we are not feeding the spirit through good habits, then we are feeding the flesh through bad ones. Victorious Christian living is premised upon having a stronger spirit that will force the flesh to succumb to what the Spirit desires for us. This is the fruit of the Spirit, especially in self-control. Fleshly desires are what the Bible calls carnal, worldly or unspiritual. Many are not aware that their spiritual growth is stunted as a result of bad spiritual habits inculcated over the years.

Systemic cultures grow out of the keystone habits in every organization. By encouraging healthy habits, an organization grows strong. Good habits of every member are foundational to the life of the church. Can I encourage you to spend some time to reflect your past year on this matter? If you can be brutally honest and examine all your habits to see what feed your spirit and flesh and determine whether to keep, drop, enhance or even add a new one, you will be working towards a more fruitful year. Remember, habits take time to form and do persevere until you know it is almost automatic. We have often been told we are creatures of habit and it is so true. The most basic of all spiritual habits must include our daily devotion and prayer, our weekly celebration and cell group, our tithe and offering, and most of all our time with our loved ones. These habits free us with an inadvertently greater energy to be creative, productive and fruitful in many other areas of our life because the important and vital basics are covered.

This is a great book to read if you want to develop this further.