Marriage is the Display of God

"Most foundationally, marriage is the doing of God. And ultimately, marriage is the display of God. It displays the covenant-keeping love between Christ and his people to the world in a way that no other event or institution does. Marriage, therefore, is not mainly about being in love. It's mainly about telling the truth with our lives. And staying married is not about staying in love. It is about keeping covenant and putting the glory of Christ's covenant-keeping love on display." - John Piper

What a beautiful and concise definition of marriage. I have officiated countless weddings. I rejoice with the dreamy looking couple, so much in love with one another and looking forward to a brand new life ahead. I have seen both groom and bride, crying unashamedly as they make their vows to one another, touched by the moment of romance and commitment as they recite: "For better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part."

They wake up the next morning to the realization that they will be together for the rest of their lives and there's no more going home after their date. Then the truth sinks in when they realize how different they are and how they need to adapt to each other's idiosyncrasies. The "happily ever after" feeling begins to deteriorate to "happily never after". The preconceived fantasy of your ideal spouse or the perfect marriage dissipates quickly. You embark on a reform program to change the other person, misconstruing the phrase "and the two shall become one" to mean that your spouse will become like you and your fantasized ideal. You expect your spouse to click the like button on your facebook page to every post and eventually a sense of desperation triggers the inevitable private thought: WHAT HAVE I DONE?

I often counsel couples that real love only truly begin after the wedding day. While one may choose to stop seeing each other for awhile after an argument during courtship, you return to the same room and sleep on the same bed after you are married. How do you deal with that? 

Hence love kicks in:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 
1 Cor 13:4-7

Marriage is therefore a covenant with each other. What's the difference between a covenant and a contract? A social contract is a legally binding document or agreement between two persons that requires both parties to abide by its terms and upon the non-compliance of any of these terms, the contract can be broken. A covenant on the other hand is agreed upon in accordance to God's laws, or in the Name of God. It is a vow that cannot be broken. Matthew 19:4-6 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”  

Notice thus the beauty of the wedding or marriage vows "till death do us part." It gives the confidence and hope for a marriage sustained in love (not primarily of emotions but of commitment) since there is no back door. Divorce is NOT an option. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 

Here's a beautiful demonstration of God's love. Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

God made a covenant with us and in spite of our imperfections and sins, He loves us anyway. He is saying "I love you not because of, but in spite of." In the same way, He expects our marriages to illustrate that principle. 


" Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." (Ephesians 5:22-33, NIV) 

I agree therefore wholeheartedly with John Piper that marriage is the display of God! So is your marriage displaying God?

Life I to Life II: Success to Significance

Blessed New Year and a belated Christmas! Trust that you are excited about the new year and what's in store for 2013.

I am reading a book by Bob Buford (Finishing Well: The Adventure of Life Beyond Halftime) and a quote struck me which is a good reminder as we once again gear ourselves towards the new year.

"I have no problem with money, power, fame, or status—as long as they’re treated as resources, rather than as goals in themselves. But that’s precisely the problem for most people—and why? It’s so hard for people to answer the question “how much is enough?” If acquiring money or fame is your goal, how do you know when you have enough? Everyone I know who has a little wants more. But everyone i know who has a lot also wants more." 

Tom Morris

In the overall idea of half-time (Buford proposed that we divide our lives into Life I and Life II, with the 40th year as a good transition point), we move from a success mindset to a significant mindset. He defined it this way:

Success commonly means using your knowledge and experience to satisfy yourself with fame and fortune. Significance, however, means using the same knowledge and experience to serve others—that is, to change lives. The outcome defines the difference and changes your attitude toward what you do.

If you are like me living in Life II, I think life can be more exciting when we live it to serve others. Think about that!

The "One Another" Principle

Doing nice things to each other must be something difficult and not the fleshly norm. That's why Apostle Paul writes about it frequently. These are exhortations given to Christians and for good reasons too!

Jesus Himself commanded the same. John 13:34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  35 By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” 

Loving one another will be a hallmark of the new Christian faith and this will stand out the definitive mark of the Christian community. 

I. Positive Statements from Apostle Paul

1. Romans 12:5 - we are members of one another (KJV) (Ephesians 4:25)
2. Romans 12:10 - be devoted to one another 
3. Romans 12:10 - honour one another above yourselves
4. Romans 12:16 - live in harmony with one another (NIV)/be of the same mind one toward another (KJV) (Romans 15:5) 
5. Romans 13:8 - love one another (1 Thes 3:12; 4:9; 2 Thes 1:3)
6. Romans 14:19 - edify one another (ASV) (1 Thes 5:11- encourage one another)
7. Romans 15:7 - accept one another
8. Romans 15:14 - instruct/admonish one another (Colossians 3:16)
9. Romans 16:16 - greet one another (1 Corinthians 16:20, 2 Corinthians 13:12)
10. 1 Cor 11:33 - wait for one another
11. 1 Cor 12:25 - care for one another (KJV)
12. Galatians 5:13 - serve one another
13. Galatians 6:2 - bear burdens of one another (KJV)
14. Ephesians 4:2 - forbearing one another in love (Colossians 3:13)
15. Ephesians 4:32 - be kind and compassionate to one another
16. Ephesians 4:32 - forgive one another (KJV) (Colossians 3:13)
17. Ephesians 5:21 - submit to one another
18. Philippians 2:3 - regard one another as more important than yourselves
19. Colossians 3:16 - teach one another
20. 1 Thes 4:18 - comfort one another (KJV)
21. 1 Thes 5:11 - encourage one another/build each other up
22. 1 Thes 5:13 - live in peace with one another
23. 1 Thes 5:15 - be kind to one another

II. Negative Statements from Apostle Paul

1. Romans 14:13 - don't judge one another
2. 1 Cor 6:7 - don't have lawsuits with one another
3. Galatians 5:15 - don't bite and devour one another
4. Galatians 5:15 - don't destroy one another
5. Galatians 5:26 - don't provoke one another
6. Galatians 5:26 - don't envy one another
7. Colossians 3:9 - don't lie to one another
8. Titus 3:3 - don't hate one another

III.   Summary

1. 23 different positive statements
2. 8 different negative statements
3. Total of 31 different statements (plus 11 duplicate references)

Note: All references in NIV unless indicated.

One shot and one chance in their life!

I made this status update on my facebook this week: Make time for your family! We wonly have one shot and one chance at every milestone of their life! We miss it, it's gone!

We are always on our annual family trip somewhere. This year it is in a relatively unknown spot in Thailand called Hua Hin. Apparently it is Thailand's royal beach resort, less known than the popular Phuket or Samui. Our annual trip has been a tradition kept for many years now, whether it is a local one, or overseas. When the children were younger, it was much more challenging as the packing list was longer. Now that they are much older, their packing list is their own although still with some input from mum. We still treat them as little kids at times (told them they will always be fifteen or younger in our hearts and minds) and still irritating them with a barrage of reminders.

I suppose in our hearts, they will always remain young, that they never grew up. I know it's totally unfair to them but we will always be watching out for them but hopefully learning to let go and letting them take responsibility over their own actions and life. It will certainly be hard to let go, but we know we need to. At my age now, my parents are still as concern as they were of me when I was young. That's the beauty of family I suppose but hopefully we will not choke them to tears.

Our boys are now between 15 and 22! We have to learn to start letting go. I shared in my sermon last month that with my eldest son, he has shown me the signs that I am looking for where I can say with an amount of certainty and peace that I can let him go as he has learnt to take responsibility over his own actions. He will not blame anyone else or the things that happen in his life but to adopt a great attitude of learning from them and be thankful in all circumstances.

Interestingly after that, my youngest son with his usual wit asked me whether he has shown any of the sign I mentioned. I told him definitely not at this point in his life! He needs time to grow. While they are growing up, let's not miss out on the milestones of their life. We can never turn back the clock at each of these milestones but to treasure them and never to miss out on them. They certainly grow too fast for us to catch up. Make time nevertheless where we can and never stop telling them how much you love them! I have known men who in the latter years when they have time for their children, they (the children) no longer are interested. What a sad picture! Catch the moments now!

Women of the Bible

This list was mentioned in a sermon (24/25 Nov 2012) I preached on Ruth - Leader in the Making. Click here for a softcopy.

	Women of the Bible
1	Abigail – 1 Samuel 25:2-44, 1 Samuel 27:3, 1 Samuel 30:3-5, 1 Samuel 30:18, 2 Samuel 2:2-3, 2 Samuel 3:2, 1 Chronicles 3:1-2
2	Abigail, Daugther of Nahash and Sister of David – 2 Samuel 17:25, 1 Chronicles 2:16-17
3	Abihail, Abishur’s Wife -
4	Abihail,Rehoboam’s Wife – 2 Chronicles 11:18
5	Abihail, Zuriel’s Mother – Numbers 3:35
6	Abijah – 1 Chronicles 2:24
7	Abijah,Daugther of Zechariah – 2 Chronicles 29:1
8	Abijah’s Daughters – 2 Chronicles 13:21
9	Abijah’s Wives – 2 Chronicles 13:21
10	Abimelech’s Female Slaves – Genesis 20:14
11	Abimelech’s Wife – Genesis 20:14
12	Abishag – 1 Kings 1:1-4, 1 Kings 1:15, 1 Kings 2:17, 1 Kings 2:21-22
13	Abital – 2 Samuel 3:4, 1 Chronicles 3:1-3
14	Abraham’s Concubines – Genesis 25:6
15	Achan’s Daughters – Joshua 7:24
16	Achsah – Joshua 15:16-19, Judges 1:12-15, 1 Chronicles 2:49
17	Adah, Esau’s wife – Genesis 36:2-4
18	Adah, Lamech’s Wife -Genesis 4:19-20, Genesis 4:23-24
19	Adam’s Daughters – Genesis 5:4
20	Ahinoam – 1 Samuel 14:50
21	Ahinoam of JezreelAhlai – 1 Samuel 25:43, 1 Samuel 27:3, 1 Samuel 30:3-5, 1 Samuel 30:18, 2 Samuel 2:2, Samuel 3:2, 1 Chronicles 3:1-2
22	Ahlai – 1 Chronicles 11:41Anna – Luke 2:36-38
23	Apphia – Philemon 1:2
24	Asenath – Genesis 41:45, Genesis 41:50, Genesis 46:20
25	Atarah – 1 Chronicles 2:26
26	Athaliah – 2 Kings 8:25, 2 Kings 11:1-3, 2 Kings 11:13-16, 2 Kings 11:20, 2 Chronicles 22:2, 2 Chronicles 22:10-12, 2 Chronicles 23:12-15, Ezra 8:7
27	Azubah – 1 Chronicles 2:18-19
28	Azubah, Daughter of Shilhi – 1 Kings 22:42, 2 Chronicles 20:31
	B
29	Baara – 1 Chronicles 8:8
30	Basemath, Esau’s Wife – Genesis 26:34-35, Genesis 36:2-4, Genesis 36:10, Genesis 36:13
31	Basemath, Solomon’s Daughter
32	Bathsheba- 2 Samuel 11, 2 Samuel 12:9-12, 2 Samuel 12:24, Kings 1: 11-31;1 Kings 2:14-25, Matthew 1:6
33	Bathshua – 1 Chronicles 2:3
34	Bernice – Acts 25:13-14, Acts 25:23, Acts 26:30-32
35	Bilhah – Genesis 29:29
	C
36	Cain’s Wife -
37	Canaanite Woman – Matthew 15:21-28, Mark 7:24-30
38	Canaanite Woman’s Daughter – Matthew 15:21-28
39	Cephas’ Wife – 1 Corinthians 9:5
40	Certain Women – Acts 1:14
41	Concubines (of Qoheleth) -
42	Cozbi – Numbers 25:6-9, Number 25:14-16
	D
43	Daughter of a Synagogue Leader – Matthew 9:18-19, Matthew 9:23-25
44	Daughter of Machir – 1 Chronicles 2:21
45	Daughters of Barzillai – Ezra 2:61
46	Daughters of Enoch – Genesis 5:22
47	Daughters of Humans – Genesis 6:1-4
48	Daughters of Jared – Genesis 5:19
49	Daughters of Lamech – Genesis 5:30
50	Daughters of Methuselah – Genesis 5:26
51	David’s (Un-named) Daughters – 2 Samuel 5:13, 2 Samuel 19:5
52	David’s (Un-named) Wives and Concubines – 2 Samuel 5:13, 2 Samuel 12:8-12, 2 Samuel 15:16, 2 Samuel 16:20-22, 2 Samuel 19:5
53	Deborah – Judges 5:1-2, Judges 5:6-7, Judges 5:5:12-13
54	Deliliah – Judges 16:4-9, Judges 16:10-20
	E
55	Eglah – 2 Samuel 3:5
56	Elisheba – Exodus 6:23
57	Elizabeth – Luke 1:5-7, Luke 1:13, Luke 1:24-25, Luke 1:36, Luke 1:40-44, Luke 57-61,
58	Elkhanah’s Daughters – 1 Samuel 1:2, 1 Samuel 1:4, 1 Samuel 2:20-21
59	Enosh’s Daughters – Genesis 5:10
60	Ephah – 1 Chronicles 2:46
61	Ephraim’s Wife – 1 Chronicles 7:23
62	Ephrath – 1 Chronicles 2:19
63	Eunice – 1 Tim 2:5
64	Euodia – Philippians 4:2-3
65	Eve (Woman) – Genesis 1:26-31, Genesis 2:1-25, Genesis 3:1-6, Genesis 3:8-13, Genesis 3:15-16, Genesis 3:20, Genesis 4:25, Genesis 5:1-2
	F
66	Female Servants – Ezra 2:64-65
67	Female Slaves – Ecclesiastes 2:7
68	Foreign Women – Ezra 9:2, Ezra 9:12, Ezra 10:2-3, Ezra 10:10-15
	G
69	Gideon’s Wives and Concubine – Judges 8:30-31
70	Gilead’s Wives – Judges 11:2Girls – 1 Samuel 9:11-13
71	Gideon’s Wives and Concubine – Judges 8:30-31
72	Gilead’s Wives – Judges 11:2Girls – 1 Samuel 9:11-13
	H
73	Hagar – Genesis 25:12
74	Haggith – 2 Samuel 3:4, 1 Kings 1:5, 1 Kings 1:1, 1 Chronicles 3:1-2
75	Ham’s Wife – Genesis 6:18, Genesis 7:1, Genesis 7:7, Genesis 7:13-7:16, Genesis 8:15-19
76	Hammolecheth – 1 Chronicles 7:18
77	Hannah – 1 Samuel 1:1-28, 1 Samuel 2:1-10, 1 Samuel 2:19, 1 Samuel 25:12
78	Herodias – Matthew 14:3-11
79	Hiram’s Mother – 1 Kings 7:13-14
80	Hodesh – 1 Chronicles 8:9-10
81	Hoglah – Numbers 26:33, Numbers 27:1-11, Numbers 36:1-12
82	Huldah – 2 Kings 22:13-28
83	Hushim – 1 Chronicles 8:8, 1 Chronicles 8:11
	I
84	Izban’s Daughters – Judges 12:9
85	Izban’s Daughters-in-Law – Judges 12:9
	J
86	Jael – Judges 4:9, Judges 4:17-24, Judges 5:6, Judges 5:24-27
87	Japheth’s Wife – Genesis 6:18, Genesis 7:1, Genesis 7:7, Genesis 7:13-7:16, Genesis 8:15-19Jecoliah – 2 Chronicles 26:3
88	Jehoaddin – 2 Kings 14:2, 2 Chronicles 25:1
89	Jehoshabeath – 2 Kings 11:1-3, 2 Chronicles 22:10-12
90	Jemimah – Job 42:13-16
91	Jephthah’s Daughter – Judges 11:34-40
92	Jephthah’s Mother – Judges 11:1
93	Jerioth – 1 Chronicles 2:18-19
94	Jeroboam’s Wife – 1 Kings 14:1-17
95	Jerushah – 2 Chronicles 27:1
96	Jesus’ Sisters – Matthew 13:55
97	Jezebel – 1 Kings 16:31-34, 1 Kings 18:3-4, 1 Kings 18:13, 1 Kings 18:19, 1 Kings 19:1-2, 1 Kings 21:5-7, 1 Kings 21:8-16, 1 Kings 21:23-26, 2 Kings 9:6-10, Revelation 2:20
98	Joash’s Daughters – 2 Chronicles 24:2-3
99	Joash’s Two Wives – 2 Chronicles 24:2-3
100	Jochebed (Moses’ Mother) – Exodus 2:1-3, 2:8-10, Exodus 6:19a-20, Exodus 11:23
101	Jonathon’s Mother – 1 Samuel 20:30
102	Judith – Genesis 26:34-35
	K
103	Keturah – Genesis 25:1-2, 1 Chronicles 1:32-33
104	Keren-happuch – Job 42:13-16
105	Keziah – Job 42:13-16
106	King’s Daughter – 1 Samuel 17:24-27
107	Peninnah – 1 Samuel 1:1-6
	L
108	Levite’s Concubine – Judges 19:1-29, Judges 19:1-2, Judges 19:3-9, Judges 19:10-22, Judges 19:22, Judges 19:25-27, Judges 19:29, Judges 20:3
109	Lydia – Acts 16:13-15
	M
110	Maacah – 2 Samuel 3:3, 1 Chronicles 3:1-2, 1 Chronicles 11:26-47
111	Maacah, Caleb’s Concubine – 1 Chronicles 2:48-49
112	Maacah, Absalom’s Daughter – 1 Kings 15:1-2, 1 Chronicles 11:20-22
113	Maacah, Jeiel’s Wife – 1 Chronicles 8:29, 1 Chronicles 9:35
114	Mahalath – 2 Chronicles 11:18-20
115	Mahlah – Numbers 26:33, Numbers 27:1-11, Numbers 36:1-12
116	Manoah’s Wife – Judges 13:2-24, Judges 14:2-6, Judges 14:9
117	Man’s Wife – 2 Samuel 17:18-21Mary – Romans 16:6
118	Mary, James’ and Joseph’s Mother – Matthew 27:55-56
119	Mary, Jesus’ Mother – Matthew 1:16, Matthew 1:18-25, Matthew 2:11, Matthew 2:13-15, Matthew 2:19-21, Matthew 12:46-50, Matthew 13:54-58, Mark 3:31-35, Mark 6:3-4, Luke 1:26-30, Luke 1:39-55, Luke 2:16, Luke 2:19, Luke 2:34-35, John 19:25-27, Acts 1:14
120	Mary Magdalene – Matthew 27:55-56,Mark 15:40-41
121	Mary, Mother of John – Acts 12:12-17
122	Mary, Mother of Joses - Mary’s Sister – John 19:25
123	Mary, wife of Clopas – John 19:25
124	Medium at Endor – 1 Samuel 28:7-25, 1 Chronicles 10:13
125	Merab – 1 Samuel 14:49, 1 Samuel 18:17-19, 1 Samuel 21:8
126	Mehetabel – Genesis 36:39
127	Mephibosepth’s Nurse – 2 Samuel 4:4
128	MichalMicah’s Mother – Judges 17:1-4
129	Micaiah – 2 Chronicles 13:1-2
130	Midianites – Numbers 31:9, Numbers 31:12, Number 31:15-18
131	Midwife – Numbers 31:9, Numbers 31:12, Number 31:15-18
132	Michal – 1 Samuel 14:50, 1 Samuel 18:20-29, 1 Samuel 19:8-17, 1 Samuel 25:4, 2 Samuel 3:12-16, 2 Samuel 6:16, 2 Samuel 6:20-23
133	Milcah – Genesis 11:29, Genesis 24:15
134	Milcah – Numbers 26:33, Numbers 27:1-11, Numbers 36:1-12
135	Miriam – Exodus 15:20-21, Numbers 12:1-15, Numbers 20:1, Numbers 26:59, Deuteronomy 24:8-9, 1 Chronicles 6:3, Micah 6:4
136	Moabites – Numbers 25:1-2
137	Moses’ Sister – Exodus 2:4-8
138	Mother of the sons of Zebedee – Matthew 20:20-23, Matthew 27:55-56
	N
139	Naamah – Genesis 4:22
140	Naamah the Ammonite – 1 Kings 14:21, 2 Chronicles 12:13
141	Noadiah – Nehemiah 6:14
142	Noah – Numbers 26:33, Numbers 27:1-11, Numbers 36:1-12
143	Noah’s Wife – Genesis 6:18, Genesis 7:1, Genesis 7:7, Genesis 7:13-7:16, Genesis 8:15-19
	O
144	Oholibamah – Genesis 36:14
145	Orpah – Ruth 1:4
	P
146	Peter’s Mother-in-law – Matthew 8:14-15, Mark 1:29-31
147	Pharaoh’s Daughter, from Exodus – Exodus 2:5-10, Acts 7:21-22, Hebrews 11:24
148	Pharaoh’s Daughter, Solomon’s Wife – 1 Kings 3:1-2, 1 Kings 9:16, 1 Kings 9:24, 1 Kings 11:1, 2 Chronicles 8:11
149	Phinehas’ Wife – 1 Samuel 4:19-22
150	Prophetess – Isaiah 8:3
151	Prostitute in Gaza – Judges 16:1
152	Prostitutes with Baby – 1 Kings 3:16-28
153	Prostitutes Bathing in Blood – 1 Kings 22:38
154	Puah – Exodus 1:15-22
155	Putiel’s Daughter – Exodus 6:25
	Q
156	Queen of Sheba – 1 Kings 10:1-13, 2 Chronicles 9:1-9, 2 Chronicles 9:12, Matthew 12:42
157	Queen Tahpenes – 1 Kings 11:19-21
	R
158	Rahab – Joshua 2:1-21, Joshua 6:17, Joshua 6:22-25, Matthew 15, Hebrews 11:31, James 2:24-26
159	Rebekah – Genesis 20:23
160	Rehoboam’s Daughters – 2 Chronicles 11:21
161	Rehoboam’s Wives and Concubines – 2 Chronicles 11:21
162	Reuel’s Seven Daughters – Exodus 2:15b-21
163	Reumah – Genesis 22:24
164	Rhoda – Acts 12:12-17
165	Rizpah – 2 Samuel 3:6-11, 2 Samuel 21:8-13
	S
166	Salome – Mark 15:40, Mark 16:1
167	Samson’s First Wife – Judges 14:1-5, Judges 14:10, Judges 14:15-20, Judges 15:1-2, Judges 15:6
168	Sapphira – Acts 5:1-2, Acts 5:7-10
169	Sarah/Sarai – Genesis 11:29-31, Genesis 12:5, Genesis 12:11-20, Genesis 13:1,
170	Serah – Numbers 26:56, 1 Chronicles 7:30
171	Servant Girl – 2 Samuel 17:17
172	Seth’s Daughers – Genesis 5:7
173	Sheerah – 1 Chronicles 7:24
174	Shelomith – Leviticus 24:10-12
175	Shelomith – 1 Chronicles 3:19
176	Shem’s Wife – Genesis 6:18, Genesis 7:1, Genesis 7:7, Genesis 7:13-7:16, Genesis 8:15-19
177	Sheshan’s Daughter – 1 Chronicles 2:34-35
178	Shiphrah – Exodus 1:15-22
179	Shua – 1 Chronicles 7:32
180	Shunammite Woman – 2 Kings 4:8-44
181	Singers – Ezra 2:64-65, Ezra 2:70-1, Ezra 7:7-8, Ecclesiastes 2:8
182	Singing Women – 2 Chronicles 35:25
183	Sisera’s Mother – Judges 5:28-31
184	Sister of Tahpenes – 1 Kings 11:19-21
185	Slave-Girl Who Had a Spirit – Acts 16:16-19
186	Solomon’s Wives – 1 Kings 11:1-8
187	Stephana – 1 Corinthians 16:15
188	Susanna – Luke 8:3
189	Syntyche – Philippians 4:2-3
190	Syrophoenician Woman (also Canaanite Woman) – Matthew 15:21-28, Mark 7:24-30
191	Syrophoenician Woman’s Daughter – Matthew 15:21-28
	T
192	Talitha – Matthew 9:18-19, Matthew 9:23-26, Mark 5:22-24, 5:35-43
193	Tamar, Absalom’s Daughter – 2 Samuel 14:27
194	Tamar, David’s Daughter – 2 Samuel 13:1-20, 2 Samuel 13:32
195	Tamar, Judah’s Daughter-in-Law – 1 Chronicles 2:4
196	Taphath – 1 Kings 4:11
197	Timothy’s Mother – 1 Tim 2:5
198	Tirzah – Numbers 26:33, Numbers 27:1-11, Numbers 36:1-12
	V
199	Vashti – Esther 1:8-20
	W
200	Widow of Zarephath – 1 Kings 17:8-24
201	Wife of a Member of the Company of Prophets – 2 Kings 4:1-7
202	Wisest Ladies – Judges 5:29
203	Wise Woman – 2 Samuel 14:2-21, 2 Samuel 20:16-22, Proverbs 14:1
204	Wives of the Apostles – 1 Corinthians 9:5
205	Wives of the Brothers of the Lord – 1 Corinthians 9:5
206	Woman Making Leavened Bread – Matthew 13:33
207	Woman with an Alabaster – Matthew 26:6-13
208	Woman in the Crowd – Luke 11:27-28
209	Woman with the Millstone – Judges 9:53-54, 2 Samuel 2:11
210	Woman Suffering from Hemorrhages – Matthew 9:20-23, Mark 6:24-34
211	Women (Christian) – Acts 8:3
212	Women Dancing with Miriam – Exodus 15:20
213	Women of Jabesh-gilead – Judges 21:1-14
214	Women at Shiloh – Judges 21:15-25
215	Women of the Towns of Israel – 1 Samuel 18:6-7
216	Women at the Wall – Judges 9:51-52
217	Women Who Had Gathered – Acts 16:13
218	Women Who Served at the Entrance – Exodus 38:8, 1 Samuel 2:22
219	Women at Ziklag – 1 Samuel 30:1-3, 1 Samuel 30:18-19
	Z
220	Zeruah – 1 Kings 11:26
221	Zeruiah – 1 Samuel 26:6, 2 Samuel 2:13, 2 Samuel 2:18, 2 Samuel 3:39, 2 Samuel 8:16, 2 Samuel 14:1, 2 Samuel 17:25, 2 Samuel 18:2, 2 Samuel 19:21-22,2 Samuel 23:18, 2 Samuel 23:37, 1 Kings 1:7, 1 Kings 2:5, 1 Kings 2:22, 1 Chronicles 2:13-17, 1 Chronicles 11:6, 1 Chronicles 11:26-47, 1 Chronicles 18:12, 1 Chronicles 18:15, 1 Chronicles 26:28, 1 Chronicles 27:24
222	Zibiah – 2 Kings 12:1, 2 Chronicles 24
223	Zillah – Genesis 4:19, Genesis 4:22-24Zilpah – Genesis 29:24, Genesis 30:9-12
224	Zipporah – Exodus 2:22, Exodus 4:18-20, Exodus 4:24-26, Exodus 18:1-6, Numbers 12:1 (possible reference)

Burn-out Test

Burning out is a hazard in ministry, especially people involved in pastoral, counselling and social work. Our whole world can crash if we don't watch out for the signs. Here's a test. Hope it helps you to recognise your emotional fatigue.


For each of the question below, rate 1 to 5.
1 = Definite no
5 = Definite yes.
Put a number for each question and add up the total at the end.

1. I seem to be working harder but accomplishing less.
2. I dread going to work each day.
3. I seem to have less physical energy than before.
4. Things irritate me that in the past didn’t bother me.
5. More and more I find myself trying to avoid people.
6. I seem to be getting more short-tempered.
7. I am having a harder time concentrating.
8. More and more I find myself not wanting to get out of bed in the morning.
9. I am starting to lose confidence in my abilities.
10. I am finding it harder and harder to concentrate on my work.
11. It is getting harder for me to take risks.
12. I am becoming more dissatisfied with my accomplishment.
13. Lately I have started blaming God for my situation.
14. Someday I just want to run away from everything.
15. I care less and less if my work ever gets done or not.
16. It seems that everything is staying the same or getting worse.
17. It seems that everything I try to do takes more energy than I have.
18. I am finding it hard to do even simple and routine tasks.
19. I wish people would just leave me alone.
20. I am frustrated with the changes I see in myself.

0 – 30 points = You are in no danger of burn-out.
31 – 45 points = You are developing some of the symptoms of burn-out.
46 – 60 points = You are probably starting to burn-out. 
61 – 75 points = You are definitely in the burn-out process.
Over 75 points = You are in the advanced stages of burn-out.

Each of the questions above reveal one of the following symptoms.

1. Sense of restlessness - loss of inner peace
2. Sense of compulsion - loss of moderation
3. Sense of irritation - loss of self-control
4. Sense of isolation - loss of interest
5. Sense of boredom - loss of challenge

I will share with you some pointers in another post how to deal with them. Interestingly, my score is 26, even at 19 years of ministry as a pastor. I attribute this to the grace of God!

Redefining Friendships

The social media world has been quite amazing! I received my birthday wishes via facebook, twitter, WhatsApp, SMS, email and of course the good old voice calls and birthday cards. It's quite a convoluted experience with well wishes coming from all directions.

Smoke signals and morse codes were amazing inventions then. I wonder what the future hold after all these? Maybe the body becomes one big super antenna and with communication biochips embedded into our bodies, we may never ever need to carry our mobile phones with us any longer because we are the communication tool itself.

I wonder how much social media has redefined the notion of friendship. For sure we are in touch more than ever before but are we a mile wide but an inch deep in building our friendships? How many of those we are constantly in touch with (again a redefining of the phrase "keep in touch") are friends we can call at 4 am when we are in dire need? I was asked this question last week, "What is the single biggest worry/fear/problem that people have?" Without hesitation I replied: "Whether they are loved and accepted for who they are."

Read these amazing quotes:

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.” 

― Henri J.M. Nouwen, The Road to Daybreak: A Spiritual Journey

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.” ― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” ― Elbert Hubbard


“Silence make the real conversations between friends. Not the saying, but the never needing to say that counts.” ― Margaret Lee Runbeck

“The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.” ― Bette Midler

These are great thoughts that will re-align our definition to what friendship is all about. The number of friends and followers on facebook and twitter is an indication of width. Those you can call at 4 am is an indication of depth.

I know for sure I have at least one. My best friend, who happens to also be my darling wife! :) I can call on her anytime, anywhere!

Proverbs 18:24 A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.